All children develop at different rates, and it can be hard not to compare your baby or toddler to your friends' children. But one mum says she has been shamed for showing pride in her own child's achievements.
A friend slammed the proud mum and labelled her "inconsiderate" for posting clips on social media of her two-year-old saying new words he's learned. The friend claimed the woman only started sharing the clips after she revealed her own son had speech problems.
"She said it makes her feel shame for her kid, and she's tired of feeling that," the woman explained in a Reddit post. "All this after she said her and her children need to take a little break from play dates with us for a while."
The woman continued telling her she "doesn't need friends who remind me that my fears are founded".
"Right now I need friends who can sit with me and see why I'm terrified and can tell me it's going to be ok," her friend told her. "I'm not here to tell you what you should post, only to say that it does have some effect on how I view our friendship, and whether it's genuine or not."
The woman was shocked by her outburst, but managed to quickly responded saying she understands.
"We all have to have boundaries and I respect hers," she wrote. "I also said I hope things get better for both of them."
A couple of days later she replied again with a more thought out response.
"I feel empathy for her, and this clearly isn't about me," the woman wrote. "I said I wish it were because that would be an easier fix. I said I wish that I could go back in time and redo how things transpired because of how this has impacted her."
Her friend put an end to their kids playdates. Photo: Getty Images/iStockphoto
Although the mum admitted her friend was possibly right, as she wasn't thinking of her son when she posted the videos, she also wanted to stand her ground.
"I said it's not my responsibility to filter MY social media FOR her," she wrote, saying she gave examples of "other mum friends that she could also be upset by."
"I said it would be inappropriate to expect her not to share these things because it may or may not cause others pain to see a contrasting scenario to their own," she continued. "I told her I wished she had simply unfollowed my children's account and had this conversation with her husband or a therapist. But since she brought this to my awareness, my boundary is to simply cut the social media connection."
The woman said she told her friend she hopes they get the support they need, and she still cares deeply for her children, adding she's "terribly sorry for hurting her."
Fellow redditers were quick to point out if people took everyone's feelings into account before posting on social media posts, there would be no social media posts.
"There's always going to be someone worse off than you or in a different situation and that's out of your control," one person pointed out. "If someone feels uncomfortable by what you're posting then it's up to them to either remove you or hide your status.
"You are correct, it's not your responsibility to filter your social media for he," another agreed. "If she doesn't like your social media content, then she can mute or unfollow and move on with her life."
"I get that it is difficult for her to see her child struggling, but that's a problem for her to manage with a therapist and not by trying to control the behaviour of others," they continued. "The fact that watching your child's achievements make her feel "shame" about her child is very troubling and once again is HER problem and she should see a therapist immediately!!!!"