Joanna's story
The day I brought Estelle home from the hospital, I whispered into her tiny ears, "Welcome to your new home. I love you." Little did I know she couldn't hear me.
I would sing her lullabies and tell her stories, just as I had to my two older boys. But something wasn't right. She wasn't responding to soft sounds, especially when we played peek-a-boo or hide-in-seek.
I took her to the doctors and insisted that they test her hearing. My requests would often 'fall on deaf ears': they kept telling me that she wasn't deaf and that she had a behavioural problem.
Finally, at 20 months, she was diagnosed with severe hearing loss. The shock was huge. I cried and cried. Initially, I believed that treatment would fix whatever Estelle had. But this was not the case.
In many ways, I was relieved that I now knew what the issue was with Estelle's speech development. This road was a different one: I had a lot of homework to do, I would have to learn new skills and my parenting would have to change.
On searching for information on raising a child with hearing loss, I was presented with a 'show bag' full of complex and daunting information. Inside were detailed brochures on hearing aids, hearing equipment and early intervention centres, but no parenting booklets and no contact details of other parents with deaf children.
All I wanted was to speak to another mother who had experience in raising a deaf child. I craved hearing a mother's voice that would confidently tell me that everything would be okay.
I called one of the early intervention centres and begged them to put me in touch with a mother of a deaf child of primary school age. Three weeks later, I was given the name and number of a mother in Brighton.
Speaking to her was exactly what I needed. She gave me hope and made me see that all the dreams she had initially had for her daughter were still achievable, regardless of her hearing loss. It was the stepping stone to regaining my confidence in parenting.
From then on, I was able to accept Estelle's disability and instead focus on finding the gifts in having a child with hearing loss. In searching, I found them. I have never attended university, yet I feel that Estelle has been my degree. Through her, we have both attained so many things I never thought were possible.
I have enjoyed learning about the hearing-impaired world and its role in today's society. Our family has learnt sign language, as we were told that Estelle may not be oral. However, we have always spoken while signing with her. From the age of three, she would hop onto a bus at 7.30am to attend an early learning centre in Burwood, four days week. To see her go would almost break my heart, yet, everyday we noticed she had more language. I would often visit the school to observe how she interacted with her teachers and peers. Through this, I learnt what to reinforce when she was at home.
When Estelle was five, we faced the decision of whether to keep her at the early intervention school or place her in mainstream education. It was always our vision to see her attend mainstream schooling with her brothers, so we chose the latter, which she has mastered with excellence.
Today, she attends St Paul Apostle South with her brothers and cousins. She is bright, confident and has loads of friends. Along with a visiting teacher twice a week, she also has a teacher's aide and specialised equipment, including a soundproofed classroom. The teachers have always been accepting and approachable.
Estelle is now nine and has huge dreams to own her own hairdressing salon. She loves to learn, the sky is the limit for her, and I truly believe she will meet her highest destiny.
My initial need for support led me to start up the Parents of the South East Region (POSER) group in November 2004 with the help of Deaf Children Australia. The group provides friendship and support for families of deaf and hearing impaired children in the South-Eastern suburbs. It now has over 25 members who meet regularly to swap ideas and inspiring stories. Connecting with other families with a similar experience has alleviated my loneliness and given me huge hope for the future.
It was always my goal to replace the 'show bag' with a booklet of stories and experiences of parents with deaf children, of the deaf children themselves, and their contact details. The Where do we go from hear? booklet is the result. In it, various parents describe their personal experiences in both overcoming the initial shock and embracing the challenges of raising a deaf child.
When the family of a newly diagnosed deaf child asks themselves "What now?", I hope that the stories in this booklet will give you some answers and bring you some hope. I believe it is important not to doubt one's instinct. After all, as parents, we know our children best.
For your copy of the booklet, please contact Deaf Children Australia's national helpline on 1800 645 956 or email helpline@deafchildren.org.au.
For information, support and referral, please call the Deaf Children Australia helpline on 1800 645 916 or visit their website at www.deafchildrenaustralia.org.au.
This article has been supplied courtesy of Deaf Children Australia who have been enriching the lives of deaf and hearing impaired children and young adults for the last 143 years.
