Co-authors Sarah and Claire with their eldest children.
I'm sure it's not a generalisation to say that the vast majority of children experience some degree of anxiety when starting daycare. But like any new stage in our children's lives that parents and child approach together, be it, breast/bottle feeding, introducing solids, sleeping through the night, or toilet training, a little investigative research, a positive vibe, lots of cuddles (or "huggles" as my kids say), patience and perseverance, all go along way.
For the child starting daycare, home and their family have been the epicenter of their young lives to date and they can be forgiven for feeling a little lost (we can be forgiven too, when they have been the epicenter of ours for what seems like eternity). So it makes sense to try to make connections between daycare and home so they can better understand how and where daycare fits in and reassure them that home is still their epicenter.
Some simple ways of bridging the gap between home and daycare include:
- Put a family photo in the preschool bag
Choose a family photo for your child to take to preschool and let them know they can look at it during the day when they are missing you. Many daycare providers display photos around the room of each child with their family, a nice reminder of home.
- Take a photo at daycare and bring it home
In support of bridging the gap between home and daycare (with the daycare provider's consent) why not bring some photos of daycare, home to discuss as a family and help the subject of the pictures to become more familiar.
- Organise a play day at your house
Ask your daycare provider's permission to approach another parent for a play day at your house for an hour or two one weekend.
When my first child started childcare, my greatest concern (once I had chosen a suitable childcare provider), was that my two-and-a-half year old daughter wouldn't understand that we would return to take her home later that same day. I couldn't bear for her to think that I wasn't coming back and so I sketched a little storyboard to try to explain the sequence of events between my dropping her off and picking her up. This storyboard is now a book, which I hope others may also find helpful in bridging the gap between home and childcare.
Other common sense approaches like taking your child for a few introductory hours of play before their first day and even taking time to sit down and play and engage with your children when you come to take them home, at the end of the day (not always ideal if it's winter and already getting dark).
My personal experience has been that the fewer days your child is in daycare, the longer it takes them to settle in, but most will in their own time and childcare professionals are skilled in comforting and distracting children such that, they often settle once you're out of view.
I can only speak as a mother in saying that some of my anxiety towards daycare was tied up with the conflict of not wanting to leave them, but needing to. But it comforts me to think of the positive ways my children can benefit from daycare. Not only through social and personal development, but in terms of how they relate to the world.
I remember reading All I need to know I learned in Kindergarten by Robert Fulgham at a young age and it made a big impression on me. I think it's a nice reminder that some of our earliest lessons were our most valuable:
"Share everything. Play fair. Don't hit people. Put things back where you found them. Clean up your own mess. Don't take things that aren't yours. Say you're sorry when you hurt somebody. Wash your hands before you eat. Flush. Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you. The Golden Rule; and love; and basic sanitation, ecology and politics and sane living.
Learn some and think some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some. Take a nap every afternoon. Live a balanced life. Think of what a better world it would be if we all, the whole world, had cookies and milk about 3 o'clock every afternoon and then lay down with our blankets for a nap. Or if we had a basic policy in our nation and other nations to always put things back where we found them and cleaned up our own mess.
And it is still true, no matter how old you are. When you go out into the world, watch for traffic, hold hands and stick together".
Mother of two, Claire Gordon is co-author (with fellow Mum, Sarah Smith) of Playtime Hometime - a story book about preparing for a happy day at preschool or childcare.
Discuss daycare in our dedicated Daycare forum.
