Okay, look, let's all agree from the outset that parenting is disgusting, and that sometimes we have to do things we may not want to do for the welfare of our children. It's not pretty, but there it is.
A champ at this particular aspect of parenting is a dad called Josh Aultman. Josh appears in a video that's gone viral, showing how to remove a piece of pasta stuck up a toddler's nose. Because we all know toddlers love nothing more than to shove stuff up their nose.
My youngest shoved a rock up her nose, and I had to leave work and collect her from kindy to race her to the doctor, only to have it drop out when she jumped down from the car in the carpark. Grrrrr.
Katie Aultman recently shared a video to Facebook that shows just what a team player her husband Josh is.
"So…Jayce stuck macaroni in his nose," she wrote in the caption. "Therefore I had to tell Josh Aultman how to extract it…best vid ever. Hahahahahaha…#diggingforgold"
We can only assume that before this video was taken, Josh and Katie tried traditional removal methods, such as sticking their finger up Jayce's nose, or using a pair of tweezers.
But no, we've gone past that stage now, and Josh is getting ready to suck that pasta out. For real.
The video, if you're game to watch, shows Josh trying to psych himself up for the job, hesitating, then regrouping. During all of this, Jayce is laughing his head off because everything's funny when you've got pasta up your nose and your dad has to do something that will haunt his dreams forever.
And then, quick as you like, Josh is in and out, and the job is done. Poor Josh is gagging but who wouldn't?
Meanwhile, Jayce is laughing his head off.
"It's not funny!" says Josh to Jayce. "You shot boogers in my mouth! Don't ever put macaroni in your nose again. That's nasty! That'll hurt you."
Not to mention your father.
According to LiveStrong.com you should try to keep your child calm if they have something lodged up their nose – which is easy to say, of course. If the object is hard, you should get your child to breathe through their mouth, and try to remove the object with tweezers. If that doesn't work – or if you can't see the object – you should seek immediate medical help.
The Cleveland Clinic also recommends something they call the "mother's kiss" method. And I'm not liking the implication that this is automatically the mother's job, but okay. Mother's kiss involves placing your mouth over your child's mouth, holding down the nostril that isn't blocked, and then gently blowing into your child's mouth. The gentle pressure can dislodge hard objects in about 60 per cent of cases.
Softer objects, like pasta, will often need a doctor to be removed. Or poor Josh. He's a gun at it too.