As a parent I know that I am guilty of very often placing completely unreasonable expectations on my child. For example, I often can be heard telling Mr Almost 3 that he needs to eat something other than chocolate and chips on a daily basis, or that he needs to go to bed at night because he needs his sleep (and I need my wine).
However, more and more often of late, my requests and demands have been met with none other than full blown tantrums, involving lots of shouting, screaming, and, in particularly dramatic cases, writhing on the floor with a little bit of head banging thrown into the mix.
So, let me share with you, just from this week only, the completely unreasonable behaviours/expectations on my behalf that have resulted in such tantrums.
• I didn’t cut a piece of spaghetti to the EXACT same size as the other pieces
• I ‘hid’ (although, clearly not well enough) vegetables in the mince
• I let the fish ‘touch’ the vegetables on the plate
• I watched while the dog took a lick, then finished off the icecream/biscuit/cheese he was holding out for him
• I had a bite of (and clearly contaminated) his banana
• I returned the year’s supply of chocolate that he had added to the trolley back to the shelves
• I wouldn’t let him eat cat biscuits
• I wasn’t able to provide blueberries on demand, despite the fact that he normally hates them
• I dressed him in his favourite t-shirt, only to find out today it is no longer his favourite
• I packed away the 301 cars, five puzzles, 12 books and two colouring sets that were strewn across the lounge - apparently he was playing with ‘them all’
• I made him get dressed AND wear shoes to go out in public
• I stopped him from riding the dog like a horse
• I washed his special blankie, which was pretty close to being sectioned off by the local health and safety office
• I made him wear a seatbelt in the car
• I let another child touch his ‘special’ toy…the one he hasn’t played with since he was one
• I wouldn’t let him run across a main road by himself
• I refused to let him attach the dog to a tape measure and scooter in order to be ‘towed’ out of the mud, in which she was apparently ‘stuck’
• I turned off the TV after he had been watching it for more than three hours in a row
• I took the iPad off him when he was running with it
• I wouldn’t let him pull my shorts down in public so he could see my pants
• I made him wash his hair ... and his boy bits ... AND clean his teeth
• I removed the almost full pack of Tim Tams from him en route to his bedroom where he was going to 'look after them'
• I wouldn't let him 'wash' my phone with his milk
• I only read 19 bedtime stories
• And, last, but by no means least ... I wouldn’t let him have a sip of my wine!