Essential Baby blogger Joseph Kelly
I am three and a half years younger than my brother Tony, which is about the same as the gap between my daughters Maisie and Frances. Over the course of my childhood I dedicate huge amounts of time to refining the many and various ways I could push Tony?s buttons so that he would lose his cool. I am now witnessing Frances practice this same ancient art on Maisie.
I have always admired my brother Tony. He has, for as long as I have known him, appeared to draw most of his energy from within. This has marked him as someone who, from the outside, is very calm, rational and measured. While I was always the loud younger brother who wanted everyone involved in what I was doing, Tony was always happiest disappearing into whatever hobby had caught his interest. But, like most calm and self-driven people, when Tony loses his temper he spectacularly loses it. And this was always too big a temptation for me to ignore.
Tony and I shared a room, so there were always plenty of opportunities to wind him up. My favourite was to tunelessly sing a song I crafted myself which consisted solely of the line ?I?m just?a biding my time? sung over and over and over again. Besides my soulful vocal tunes, the song was accompanied by the soothing tones of finger clicking. I usually waited until the lights were out and we were settling into sleep before I?d start serenading from the top bunk. No matter how hard he tried not to react, for Tony it was the very fact that I was setting out to wind him up that always wound him up.
Likewise, Frances is developing very subtle ways of pushing Maisie?s buttons. Her favourite technique is to make broad statements that she knows aren?t true. ?I?m a princess!? got a good run, as did ?I?m Maisie?s twin?. But her current favourite is saved for the morning drop off. Just before we get to kinder, Frances will tell Maisie ?I go to a real school?. Maisie, inflicted as she is with a debilitating case of Eldest Child Syndrome, can?t handle any statement that isn?t 1000% accurate. ?No you don?t, Frances. You go to kinder. I go to school? is Maisie?s usual helpful reply. ?No. I go to real school? is Frances?s usual resolute line. After a very short period of this bouncing back and forward you can cue straight to Maisie turning red in a flood of tears.
Another favourite is reserved for the dinner table. Frances will approach either me or Susie and whisper something nonsensical in our ear. This drives Maisie wild. ?Is she saying it?s her birthday again??, ?Is she telling you I pushed her?? or ?No, it didn?t happen like that Frances? are all the types of conclusions Maisie rushes to. Long after Frances has calmly returned to eating her dinner Maisie is still trying to explain that whatever Frances said isn?t true.
But of all of these the one that has disturbed me the most is one that started several months ago. Frances will ask Maisie what DVD she would like to watch. They then both ask me to load the movie and take their seats. Then, just after the piracy warnings and trailers have aired and the movie starts to roll, Frances will casually walk across the room and pull the plug out of the wall. And it?s not Maisie?s piercing screams that disturbs me, or Frances?s sheer cunning, but the fact that I had always credited myself with inventing that particular technique for winding up Tony. Chalk it up as another win for nature over nurture.
Do your kids go out of their way to rile each other? Are there some traits your kids have that you are embarrassed to admit came from you?
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