Have you ever accidentally hurt your baby?
Joseph Kelly You can't help bad luck. No matter how under or over protective you are, accidents happen!
Why would you EVER go to Ikea?
Joseph Kelly Have you visited Ikea and lived to tell the tale? Do you know of anyone who has taken a child into the store and walked out unscathed?
No son? You're a failure!
Joseph Kelly A son would be lovely, but my three daughters are more than enough.
Theme Parks: Hell on Earth?
Joseph Kelly There are a lot of very crazy things that people do for love. I proved my love for my daughters by taking them to Dreamworld on the Gold Coast.
Zen and the art of parenting
Joseph Kelly Really, parenting shouldn’t be that hard. You take two people that love each other very much. By all accounts these two people have enough love left over to be shared about with any small people that they are blessed enough to create. There’s some money coming in to pay the bills and make sure everyone is fed and clothed. Nothing easier. And then the children arrive.
Doing the drop-and-go
Joseph Kelly The drop and go party requires you the parent to be confident that your child won’t eat their own body weight in lollies, throw up on their new party clothes and fight the birthday child for the presents.
Care factor
Joseph Kelly Are men as caring as women? Gender roles may have changed, but it seems society hasn't caught up.
The guilt trap
Joseph Kelly The wonderful thing about being a parent is there is always something to feel guilty about.
Parenting or working - which is harder?
Joseph Kelly In Dad's Diary this week, Joseph finds out that staying at home is not quite the laid-back experience he'd hoped it would be.
Music to drive you GaGa
Joseph Kelly My car is generously appointed with speakers, designed so that I can blast myself silly to some testosterone fuelled guitar-God driven rock mayhem. Only this never actually happens because my musical taste, along with most other things in my life, is dictated to me by the three hecklers in the back seat.
Where do kids learn these things?
Joseph Kelly Are there things that you’ve said in front of the kids that have come back to haunt you? Have the kids ever told you something you knew you weren’t supposed to hear?
The bedtime shuffle
Joseph Kelly Our bedtime routine has turned into a bit of a farce lately. Every night we go through the same charade of getting the girls bathed and dressed for bed. Putting kids to bed is one of those exercises that seems to get harder the more you practice it. A lot like golf, only far less fun.
Your child's momentoes - do you cherish or chuck?
Joseph Kelly To bin or to bind? How do you manage the unending influx of irreplaceable artwork generated by your kids?
Do you judge your kid's friends by their names?
Joseph Kelly 2 Judge, or Not 2 Judge... Is it wrong to judge a child based on their name? What do you think of “unique” names and “creative” spelling?
Do you go on dates by yourself?
Joseph Kelly Every second Tuesday one of us stays with the kids while the other goes to the movies. And it is one of the greatest sanity savers I could ever think of.
Who brings kids on holidays?
Joseph Kelly I have discovered the flaw in the whole holiday caper – everyone wants to relax. Except of course for the kids, who are keen to party like its 1999.
Entire family together for christmas - Disaster or delight?
Joseph Kelly At last count that makes 41 for Christmas dinner.
Pregnant women - hot or not?
Joseph Kelly Call it the pregnancy "glow", but it seemed as though Susie had tapped into the essence of life.
Weekend with Barnaby
Joseph Kelly Last weekend I was running at break-neck speed from late Friday right through to late Sunday. And all because of a stuffed toy bear.
Are 'Bratz' evil? Do you allow them in your home?
Joseph Kelly When Maisie was born and I became a father for the first time, I had one of those hand-on-heart moments where I swore to myself that I would protect my family from all adversity for as long as I lived.
The unreliable tooth fairy
Joseph Kelly I’ve started noticing lately that the older I get the more idealised my childhood becomes. One thing I remember (or at least I think I remember) is that with just twenty cents I could go down to the corner store and buy just about everything in the shop with the possible exception of the freehold title.
Mummy tattoos: would you get your child's name tattooed?
Joseph Kelly Occasionally, in my young and wild days, I’d wake up the morning after the night before and find I’d done something silly. Who of us hasn’t? But one day I discovered I’d had the word “Susie” tattooed on my chest.
The flight from hell
Joseph Kelly Back in the early 1980s, my mum took six of her eight children with her on a trip to Ireland. Thanks to an accidental overdose of sleeping pills administered to me by my sister Paulette, I can’t remember much about the flight.
Read more of Joseph Kelly's blogs...
A tourist on the birth canal Know-it-all parenting Is parenting uncool? Poor Dad's hair raising experience Babies Are Boring! Kids in the cafe When is the best time for baby number 3? Can Pets and Kids Mix? Party time - are siblings invited? Kids in the nude? Are two mums better than one? The name game: A world of pain?The school drop-off
Playground Politics - A Necessary Evil?
Is the politics of the playground a necessary evil that parents learn to negotiate or is it an invention of socially awkward dads who would prefer to hide behind trees?
Kinder surprise
There’s an old saying that you can choose your friends but you can’t choose your family. Very wise words indeed, however I suggest an amendment: you can choose your friends unless fate and your children choose them for you.
