Who are these clowns to be telling you about pregnancy?
First off - fair point.
Not another rant on pregnancy I hear you say. Well sort of....it is another bloody look at pregnancy but in this site, we are also going to look at how each phase of pregnancy and parenting affects your bloke and your relationship with him.
How will pregnancy, birth and parenthood affect him and your relationship? What issues will he be dealing with, what will be going through his mind and how can you help him to be more supportive during pregnancy and to become a better dad faster. In this politically correct world in which we live, I’m not sure what I’m supposed to call your man who will one day be called “daddy” – so let’s just call him your partner.
The pregnancy part of this site is primarily for you. It’s designed to help you to get your man into baby mode by understanding what makes him tick and what can be done to get him prepared, motivated and excited about fatherhood. In essence we want to help you make him a better dad faster. Every chapter has a section for you and a section for him. You might like to read his chapters too just so you know what we are telling him. As the site moves into birth and beyond it becomes a little more focused on him but once again by reading his chapters you’ll get a good understanding of what we are doing to help you.
We’ve loaded this site with all sorts of secrets, tips and lists to help him, you and your baby. This is not a substitute for a parenting class or a normal pregnancy book (for you) but it is a great companion to help you make sense of the bloke that you care about the most. For the Being Dad films, we’ve interviewed hundreds of dads from around the world, experts & celebrities to uncover one of the great mysteries of the world – the male mind.
Generally we have found that the great secret of what is going through the male mind can be answered with one word. Nothing. Seriously. On a conscious level, not much goes on in there from one minute to the next. In such a complicated, fast paced and info rich world, please understand what a refined and powerful skill it is to keep the male mind empty. Great effort and enormous leaps of faith and logic are required to do that, and we pride ourselves on it. And it’s not easy. To say it is empty is not to say that it is not complicated. The average man has all sorts of refined and well-honed tricks to keep that cognitive space straightforward and able to concentrate on the footy. Once you recognise it, you can see it everywhere. It usually manifests itself in the form of “I’ll think about it when…” or “I’ll think about it if…”. We like to call it denial, and Australian men, even when compared to America or the UK are the undisputed Kings.
Pregnancy and Birth is one of most complicated, surreal and long-term-life-changing concepts for men to understand. After surveying and interviewing hundreds of intelligent, successful Australian men, the number one emotion that is felt, immediately upon the birth of their first child is surprise. Despite nine months of pregnancy, pregnancy tests, morning sickness, hormones, baby showers, baby kicking, ultrasounds, birth classes, books and everything that goes with it – he is still surprised that a baby has been born. Such is the power of the Aussie male mind at keeping nebulous concepts at bay, shock and surprise is the first emotion. We’ll get to all of that later, but it does go some way to illustrate how pregnancy and birth gets such great attention from the subconscious male mind to make sure everything stays firmly under control. He’ll subconsciously try very hard to mentally concentrate on the status quo, even if only in the totally fictional world in his mind, and only because the life he’s about to walk into is a total mystery to him. You, along with this site, can help him start to shine a torchlight into the darkness of that future mystery and on-coming new world.
Now all of this might sound like we don’t want to know what’s happening. That we’re reluctant about having a baby. That we are the stereotypical male sitting out in the waiting room or the pub across the road whilst you get on with the challenges of procreation. Not true. We desperately want to be involved. Be good dads, and help you along the path. It’s just no-one tells us what we are in for, we don’t read, and very few self respecting Aussie males talk about pregnancy with their mates until after the birth, and even then it’s with those who also have already been through it.
And to give us blokes credit… Who knows what could happen if we actually let ourselves stop and think about something.
Along with the guys from Being Dad, we are here to help you to help him by understanding how to work with the void, how to penetrate it, when to reap the benefits of keeping it empty and when to get through to the real thoughts, fears and hopes that are actively, subconsciously being held at bay.
Think of this site as your roadmap to understanding your partners mind. It will enable you to get from conception to parenthood and beyond with your relationship and sanity in one piece. Even better, we think a better understanding of each other through pregnancy and birth will bring you much closer as a couple. There’s not much more honest, real and binding than having a baby, and we think it’s something that can be enjoyed, rather than feared.
Hey, we’re here to help. And as an added bonus, it stops us thinking about the things that we should be thinking about… so its win win. On with the show!
... and who are Being Dad (for dads to read)
Being Dad have their books and DVDs available at Big W, ABC Shop, Angus & Robinson, as well as baby shops around Australia. Or order online now on their secure online shop for free postage within Australia.