Would you name your baby after a company for money?

Photo: iStock
Photo: iStock 

You might live in a world where you wouldn't think people would choose company names for their children. On that front you'd be wrong.

Earlier this year the world discovered the parents who called their baby Disney - which, to be fair, is a surname - and people have long been using names like Mercedes and Chanel in a nod to luxury companies, wanting to bestow a little high-class panache on their bundles, and often having the opposite effect.

An amusing thread on Reddit, however, is an entirely hypothetical look at what names people would choose if they were being paid to use a company moniker.

People have used their clever and comedic abilities to weigh in on the conversation.

The OP writes, "If naming your child after a company came with financial compensation, what would you name your kid?"

Here are some of our favourite responses.

"Disney Apple Microsoft Intel Amazon Netflix as a legal name, but I'd call him Damian in daily life."

Give this person an acrostic genius award! The response spawned an entire subthread of acrostic baby name options.

This person is after as much money as they can get.


"Whichever company paid me the most."

This won't get confusing at all.

"If it's twins I'll name them Johnson & Johnson."

Um, this one's taken.

"Apple," to which another replied, "Do y'all think Gwyneth Paltrow made money naming her kid Apple?!"

Tesla also isn't unheard of as a baby name for girls, especially - according to one commenter - in San Francisco's Bay Area, where Elon Musk has a manufacturing plant.

Another expands this option to incorporate a swish jewellery company - smart move.

"Tiffany Tesla."

Another writes, "You can keep your cool names like Tesla and Amazon... meanwhile me and Nestlé McNestléson are laughing our way to the bank..."

This person gets practical about it.

"Aldi - with a lifetime 25 per cent off card my family would never starve."

And this one totally passes as a real, non-company-affiliated name.

"Dove Ivory Johnson."

In the end it's usually back to luxury or tech, with this corker of a suggestion for a sibset.

"Little Rolex Hèrmes and his brother Patek Phillippe Cartier."

It's all in a bit of fun but you just never know who just might get their actual baby name inspiration from such a conversation.