Mum-to-be's baby name dilemma as husband insists on keeping 'cheesy' red theme started by ex-wife

Picture: Getty Images
Picture: Getty Images 

Naming a baby is never easy. But one mum has some extra pressure thanks to her fiancé, who is insisting on sticking to a theme started with his kids from a previous relationship.

Explaining that her fiancé has two daughters aged 11 and 12 who were named to a colour red theme, the 23-year-old said she was keen to break the tradition.

Begun by her partner's ex-wife, the elder girls were named Rose and Ruby, in tribute to his late mum, whose maiden name was Redd. 

Taking to Reddit's AITA thread, the expectant mum said since finding out they too were having a daughter, the dad had insisted on the name Scarlett.

"I really hate this name theme and I don't wanna continue it especially since it started with his ex wife's idea," she writes.

"I think this is cheesy but my fiancé loves this and think that cuz I don't have any other name ideas I should let him choose. He doesn't get why I dislike it and says our baby would feel excluded when her sisters have matching names and she doesn't, but they're so much older than her!"

The mum also asked whether they'd have to continue the theme if they had more kids, joking they could name them 'Vermillion' or 'Crimson'.

"He said I was being mean and hormonal and blowing things out of proportion which maybe I was but he wasn't even trying to see my side," she said.

"I asked him what if we were having a boy what names would he choose and he said Red or Rusty but he wouldn't mind going off-brand with a boy name but not a girl cause that feels unfair and I told him that was dumb and he brushed me off."


Many comments agreed with the mum that she should be able to have more of a say on the name.

"She needs to stand firm, and tell him to not be so disrespectful when they should be having a discussion. If he wants to call you mean and hormonal, then he gets no input on the name," said one.

"If he'd like input, he can agree that two yes votes on a name are required, and he doesn't get to sulk and refuse to consider other suggestions just because you've sad no to his 'theme'. Do not stay with this man if he can't show you basic respect."

Others suggested a compromise, such as using Scarlett as a middle name or putting a twist on the tradition by naming their baby in honour of her maternal grandmother could be a way to keep both happy. Or failing that, find a 'red theme' name they both liked.

"I know it isn't ideal, but what about offering a compromise?? I was thinking you could suggest names with a play on the colour red. For example: Aubrey for Auburn or similar like Safia like Saffron, Astrid (Red Aster flowers)," said one.

"Also names like Autumn, Holly, and Lily (red Lily) could work (have ties to the colour red). I could probably dig up more ideas but yeah, just a suggestion."