Baby name stoush: 'Am I wrong for using the name my sister had earmarked?'

Picture: Getty Images
Picture: Getty Images 

Ah, baby names. The cause of many friendship fallouts and fractured family relationships.

So, who gets the final claim, the person who first suggests it or the one who has the first baby?

It's a dilemma one new mum is struggling with after her sister asked her not to use a name for her daughter, as she was saving it for her own children, should she have any. 

The woman explained on Reddit that she announced the name while six months pregnant, which is when her older sister first raised the objection.

Complicating matters is that the name in question is that of the mum's grandmother, and her (half) sister's step-grandmother, who her sister was particularly close with.

"My sister has always struggled with not being biologically related to grandma and has always treasured that she accepted her as a granddaughter," the woman writes.

"But she also talks about how their relationship was so much more special than her relationship with the other grandkids because she didn't need to be her grandma and their bond was instant from the moment they met."

"So she believes the name should have been saved for her to use with her first daughter (or potentially reworked for a son)."

Adding that she told her sister she could also use the name, the offended woman said cousins with the same name was 'a bad idea'.


"She tried to talk me out of using it and then told me I should do this one thing for her," she writes. 

"I have always wanted to use the name too. I loved my grandma and she was a huge part of my life for the 17 years I had her."

The post has divided Reddit users, with a split between those saying you can't claim a name, and others saying she should have taken her sister's feelings into account.

"You can't call dibs on a name. Your grandma meant a lot to both of you, and you have said you would be happy for both children to have that name (cousins sharing names isn't as impossible as she's making out)," said one.

"To add, she might even end up not having children, life can be weird and unexpected in many ways. So reserving the name forever until she had children is unreasonable and could lead to her name not being used at all."

"OP just happened to have a baby first, and so she was able to name her child first. It's an unfortunate situation to have two people wanting to use the same name. It would be kinda awkward for OP's stepsister to name her daughter the same, if the kids see each other a lot. Not to say that the stepsister can't use the name, but I definitely understand her frustration. The entitlement is a joke, though," added another.

Others argues her sister was entitled to be upset.

'Listen, you can use the name, obviously. But I also think your sister has a right to be angry. Is it justified?" said one.

"NTA (not the a--hole) but these fights are very real. I've seen quite a few of these in my time. I'm childless and have only brothers so I'm not speaking from personal experience, but I've seen how catty sisters can be over baby names. Stuff like "reserving" names WAY in advance (teenage years), calling dibs over names at weddings, trying to get pregnant first, etc," said another. 

Some users also took issue with how she broached the subject, saying she could have shown more compassion.

"YTA because it sounds like you knew exactly how important this was to your sister and didn't bother to at least warn her this was going to happen. I just can't believe that you really didn't think this was going to be a big deal. I don't think you're the a--hole necessarily for choosing that name, but for doing so without having a talk with her about it first."