the picture of me “squeezing” my poor little boys with my tight jeans at 16th weeks
Speaking of resources... as soon as you tell people you are pregnant everyone has an opinion on every single detail: they will tell you when it is appropriate to tell people that you are pregnant, what to eat, what to wear, how to cope, when to rest... Sometimes it is nice to hear things, mainly if you HAVE ASKED for an opinion, but I often got quite annoyed with such a huge amount of unwanted advice. I don’t know if everyone feels the same but I did, so this is actually for people around pregnant women.
There isn’t much right or wrong, everyone is different, our bodies are different. Of course there are things you probably shouldn’t do while pregnant but people should be allowed to find things on their own time.
Dear friends, we have doctors! Specialised ones that do tell us all the main things we need to know from the beginning so you don’t have to worry! The important things will be said, you can rest assured.
One friend saw one of my pictures and wrote me not to squeeze my poor little ones with such a tight pair of jeans. If you have ever been pregnant you know how much tight clothes hurt and cause sickness.. I can assure you, I would know when my jeans are tight, those weren’t, plus the “my poor boys” bit??. Add that to the hormones... not a good mix. I love this friend but the hormones might rise up to your head and you start not really liking such comments.
Other things that annoyed me were remarks on how I needed to rest urgently now as my life would be chaotic forever with triplets. How I am in for trouble, how will I cope, people saying that I had to move back to my country, I had to do this or that... ouch.
How do mums with 2-3 kids know??? Triplets are not the same as 3 kids with different ages... plus who said my triplets won’t be calm lovely angels while one single baby might be a very demanding one? Where is this book with all those rules that my friends are reading? Let me know so I can burn it!!! :)
I spoke to so many triplet mums and they all had extremely different opinions than those friends. Triplet mums advised on how amazing it was all, how they entertain each other and how much easier it is than having 2-3 kids, they were speaking about the tricks they used on taking care of multiples. And mainly, they were only giving me their views because I ASKED THEM so I was much more open to the responses.
I just feel there are no real rules and people should be a bit more open minded about that. Plus, people do not know all the risks involved on a multiple pregnancy, At this stage I don’t even care how difficult it could be, how much I need to rest... all I care is that everything goes well so I can have 3 healthy babies, I care about not having twin to twin transfusion issues, and that our premature babies survival. I will find out about the workload once I get there, once I am ready to understand about that, I believe me, I will ask you if I want your opinion. (hopefully with less hormones around).
I look at pregnant woman with toddlers at the ultrasound clinic and I think to myself how difficult that must be, on how tough might be to have to go through those 9 months so many times, so it all depends on the angle you see things from. But I won’t go around pregnant friends with toddlers saying: "oh my Good how can you cope? Go rest now because your live will turn upside down".
Having 3 all at once is all I will know, having one kid at the time is all some others do, my situation looks easier to me, now, as far as my experience go, it applies to me only, no one else.. so I won't be going around telling you this is black or white... if you ask me my opinion is a whole different history but I think this is the main DON’T for me: Don’t tell a pregnant woman what to do or not to do, wait if she asks your advice.
And the main DO for the pregnant one is to just ignore those comments, find it out for yourself, on your own time. Don’t even bother getting annoyed or responding; it would be a waste of a good friendship to complain so just keep in mind that people are different and you can get opinions when you want with whoever you want.
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