Woman labelled 'tactless' for pregnancy announcement

The woman;s sister in law was upset after she told her she was pregnant,
The woman;s sister in law was upset after she told her she was pregnant,  Photo: Getty Images/iStockphoto

Announcing a pregnancy can be a nerve-wracking experience, especially if you're trying to navigate other people's emotions.

One woman posted to Reddit recently to gauge if she was in the wrong for announcing her pregnancy, not long after her brother and sister-in-law had suffered a miscarriage.

The woman explained that she's not close to her brother or his wife, only seeing them once or twice a year, but she found out she was pregnant with her second child right after they announced they were expecting their first.

"She's wanted a baby for 10 years, so to let them have their spotlight, we held off on announcing," she said.

The woman's brother and sister in law sadly suffered a miscarriage.

The woman's brother and sister in law sadly suffered a miscarriage. Photo: Getty/iStock

Sadly, not long after the announcement her brother and his wife suffered a miscarriage, so they decided to put off telling people for even longer.

Now that her and her husband are almost out of the first trimester, they understandably want to start telling people, but were worried about breaking the news to her sister-in-law and upsetting her.

"I didn't want them to find out via social media or through a third party or on a family video call," she explained, deciding a personal conversation was the way to go.

"I reached out to her directly because I wanted to be upfront and honest," she continued. "I admit maybe a phone call would have been better than a text, but I wanted to really think carefully what I said so I didn't accidentally say something stupid."

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"I already had anxiety over this, I don't know her all that well, but I wanted to be considerate," she reasoned.

"So after a bit of small talk I told her I also had a miscarriage before my first, but we were able to have my first and now we were expecting [again]," she wrote. "I didn't have to tell her I miscarried, but I wanted her to know I understood at least a little of what she was going through."

The woman said she thought the conversation went well, with her sister-in-law congratulating her.

However, the shocked woman found out the next day that her brother was furious, so she reached out to him, only to be left shocked when he told her that her message was 'tactless and braggy.'

She decided the best way to handle the situation was to contact her sister on law directly.

She decided the best way to handle the situation was to contact her sister on law directly. Photo: Getty Images/iStockphoto

"I tried to tell him that wasn't my intent, I didn't know the best way to tell her and really wanted to do right by her," she replied back to him, but he was angry, insisting the news should have came from him.

"I didn't want her to feel like I was hiding from her. I even apologised for how it landed but I truly had good expectations," she said desperately, before asking the online community if handled the situation poorly.

Reddit users assured her she wasn't in the wrong, it was just an emotional situation. 

"It's no one's fault, your SIL (sister-in-law) is still sensitive about the subject," one user wrote. "Your choice may not have been the best option for your brother and SIL's opinion, but it's not like you can see the future and guess what would have been."

"He didn't handle it the right way by coming at you the way he did, but I think everyone is emotional," agreed another.

"At the end of the day, your intentions were pure, and you are not an a--hole for that at all."