I don't want to know : new dad mates sharing too much information

Getty Images/iStockphoto
Getty Images/iStockphoto Photo: Getty Images/iStockphoto

When you have a baby it's common for your new addition to completely take over your world - and your conversations. Talking about the colour and frequency of your spawn's bowel movements, how many times they've vomited and whether or not you had an episiotomy is par for the course.

It's a lesson one man, whose three good mates have recently welcomed babies, is quickly learning.

And it's all a bit TMI.

In a post to Reddit, the man explains: "I check in with my friends to show support—ask how they're doing, if they need anything. I am genuinely happy for them."

The problem is, the man has been getting what he calls "remarkably detailed descriptions" of their wives' breastfeeding experiences.

"Pumping. Overproduction. Underproduction," he writes. "Referring to their children as 'milk drunk'. Consistency. Nipple soreness".

Admitting that it's "natural" and he knows his friends don't mean to make him uncomfortable, he notes, "I don't want or need this level of detail."

Turning to Reddit for advice the man asks: If I find a respectful way to do it, would it be wrong to ask not to be told these things?"

While Redditors were uncharacteristically supportive of our grossed-out friend, they also gently educated him about the new-parent vortex and how warped life can become when you're deep in the trenches. 


"This is a really weird and vulnerable time for them, lots of weird things are happening with their bodies and their schedules and lives, they're probably talking about it because they're all feeling weird about it and feel better that they have a support system that will listen," said one commenter. "Luckily for you, breastfeeding doesn't last forever! Soon the conversation will disappear when the novelty and newness of it disappears."

"I think it's really sweet that your mates are being such good dads, and are being so involved with the breastfeeding. You have good friends," commented another.

A number of mothers in the thread, however, were horrified that such intimate details were being shared and said they'd be less than impressed if their partners did the same thing.

"This is the kind of thing I talk about with my mum friends but if my husband shared that level of detail with his friends I would be so uncomfortable and thus not at all surprised or offended if they were uncomfortable as well," one woman said.

Others suggested that if he chooses to say something, he do so with caution.

"Keep in mind that with very young babies their lives probably revolve around milk production and poop. If you also don't want to hear about poop, you may end up making them feel like you don't want to talk to them at all until the baby is older."