Mum-to-be asks if she's wrong to ask partner to skip trip during last trimester of high-risk pregnancy

Picture: Getty Images
Picture: Getty Images 

Labour is a daunting prospect for any mum-to-be, so it's natural to want your partner on hand - especially for a high risk pregnancy. 

Taking into account everything a woman has to give up during pregnancy - wine, going more than 15 minutes between peeing, seeing her feet - it may seem like asking said partner to stick close to home during the third trimester would be a small gesture by comparison. 

Not so for one woman on Reddit's Am I the A**hole thread, who fears she may deliver her baby alone while her partner heads off on a trip with his dad - to get their motorcycle licenses. 

The mum-to-be, 35, said she was pregnant with her first child with her partner, 32, who was planning a two-to-three night trip with his dad to a town three hours away when she would be 33 weeks pregnant.

While for a routine pregnancy that may not be that late, she notes it is high risk and she has no family nearby. While she wasn't against the trip, she was hoping he would compromise and stay closer to home, just in case.

"I am not opposed to him doing the course or taking a trip with his father as I know they want to spend time together. But I was concerned about the distance and asked if they could do the course somewhere closer, because I'm worried that if something went wrong (e.g. early labour or other complications) my partner would not be able to get back, and I'd have no support," she writes.

"Especially since he and his father like to drink together so possibly couldn't drive back if they had to. There are other places, much closer, where they could do the course, including only 30 minutes away, but they would have to wait a few weeks or maybe a couple of months."

The expectant mum said when she had raised the issue, he told her she was being unreasonable.

"When I asked if he could find an alternative, my partner dismissed my concerns. He said I was trying to control him and that the baby wasn't due for another month or more," hse continues.


"He basically said I was being crazy and he should be free to go away if he wants to. I told him I don't think thats very supportive or understanding, and his response basically was that its not a problem, or at least not his problem."

According to Redditers, there was no question who was being the a**hole in this situation. 

Just because he's not the one physically carrying your baby doesn't mean that he isn't just as responsible for helping support your baby coming into the world. He needs to get his priorities straight," wrote one.

"That's really concerning. What happens when the baby gets here? You can't just do what you want when you want to," added another.

"Your partner leaving you, with a high risk pregnancy, without support is definitely his problem. I can see both sides of this, and while (without knowing your medical history) it sounds like you would be fine, his attitude is the bad part. You're not being controlling, you're asking him to make plans that you are more comfortable with," said another.

One husband even chimed in to say he wouldn't have considered a trip that far along in the pregnancy.

"I am speaking as a guy who's wife is around 33 weeks pregnant as well. There is no way in hell I'll go that far for a couple of days right now," he writes.

"She is my top priority. You never know what might happen, and as someone else has put it on another comment, it's not because de child is not in my belly that I am not somehow responsible of what happens."