You may not lose that baby fat you gained in your pregnancy for months
Many parents go around in the first few weeks after the arrival of their baby, spluttering: “But nobody told us it would be like this!” This article is for those who really want to know what it's like.
Why did we decide to have a baby again?
You will really have moments where you question why you decided to have a child. It's the lack of control and the realisation that this overwhelming feeling of responsibility is going to be there for the rest of your life. It's not helped by the fact that after you've gone through the multi-hour labour and you are drained of every ounce of energy, these mad people at the hospital then leave you alone with a high maintenance brand new baby without giving you an instruction manual!
If your hospital offers to take the baby away and give you a rest, snatch the opportunity with both hands. For most new mums, the first six weeks are hell – you don't know what you are doing, everyone's getting to know each other, there is no routine and too many people are giving advice. Just know that things do get better.
The new you
You may not lose that baby fat you gained in your pregnancy for months – in fact you may emerge a completely different shape (better or worse). As one Mum says, I've got back into my pre-maternity clothes quite quickly but “things are wobbly under there”. Another thing people don't tell you is that your feet may have got permanently bigger. Women can gain half a shoe size during pregnancy.
Bonding
You may bond with your baby well, but your partner may not immediately. They don't have all these hormones buzzing around which speak to your baby and tell them you are theirs. But don't judge your partner, if they view this new arrival as a slight inconvenience who has to be put up with, in the first few weeks. It is understandable. The bonding will come and the best way for that to happen is for them to spend time together. Get some routines going that they can do - taking them to the supermarket on Saturday mornings or going for early Sunday morning walks. Don't criticise their handling of the baby, that will just dent their confidence and they are just as much the parent as you are.
Breastfeeding does not come easily to many of us
Breastfeeding comes easily to some and not so easily to others. It may be the most natural thing in the world, but if you contract mastitis or have a particularly voracious baby, breastfeeding is the hardest, most painful thing you will have to do since the labour. Breastfeeding is actually not that natural to the baby either. They need to be taught what to do. And as a new baby means a loss of control, you will lose control of your breasts when the milk comes in.
If you are out without your baby, your breasts may “let down” when you least expect it (seeing another baby is a surefire trigger) and before you know where you are, your shirt is saturated. Breast pads can be as useful as a tissue in an overflowing creek. And as for breast pumps, they are another little joke the world likes to play on new mums. Get someone to recommend one. And lastly, two words, cabbage leaves. Bliss! (look it up)
Being a mother is endlessly embarrassing
Your tolerance for embarrassment will take a serious re-positioning. When your baby chooses to have a rogue bowel movement, you may be forced to interrupt a conversation while there is poo running through your fingers. You just clean up and move on. No one is judging you and if they are get them out of your life. Having your baby scream in public is what we all expect so sally forth, nobody likes a perfect baby. We all smile inside when someone's babe is having a meltdown. For once it's not our child. And just look forward to the teenage years when you can embarrass them back.
Things small babies really hate
Just in case you think you have a problem baby, small babies don't really enjoy baths or car seats in the early days. Those ads where the baby is cooing in the bath, those babies are not newborn. Put them in either in the first few days and they will scream their heads off as if you want to commit murder. Get a little platform for them to lie on in the bath so that you can have a hand free to do the washing. Another baby beauty tip, your newborn baby's nails will be unnaturally long and you'll have to cut them which can be highly unnerving. Filing is your best bet although that can be hard when the nails are extremely soft. Using your teeth is another option.
Grandparents
Your relationship with your in-laws and your parents will change once the baby is born. You are now the mother of their grandchild and they don't seem to think you know what you are doing. They react in different ways to your mothering. Some will leave the room when you start breastfeeding, others will get into bed with you and start chatting to your baby as if you are not there. They may not criticise you but THEY ARE DYING TO PUT THEIR OAR IN!
