Confused new Dad
Every reasonable new dad (if in his right mind) will concede that life's harder for new mums. But if we're coming across a dazed and confused, please forgive us. We're shell-shocked too.
Essential Baby reveals a few of the issues that society neglected to talk about with the Dad-to-be.
Sexual healing
In a lot of households, sex is a bit of a taboo at the best of times. It most certainly is (at least publicly) when it comes to matters post-birth. While most blokes are savvy enough these days to know that the bedroom action won't be on the agenda for a little while, it remains a difficult one to gauge and depends entirely on, of course, the woman.
Lots of things needs to be factored in on top of the general trauma of having pushed out a tiny person down and outta the birth canal: C-sections, episiotomies or any number of occurrences during birth. Like plenty of things though, a lot of blokes have little clue when it comes to addressing the issue. So as a very rough guide, fellas, I'm told we should give it at least an absolute bare minimum of six weeks before even mentioning it as a slight possibility!
Earplugs please
We might expect sleepless nights and the odd dirty nappy, but there's plenty of other baby stuff that most new dads are ignorantly blind to. Sure, babies are fairly quiet when you first get them home but it doesn't take long for their lung-busting exploits to ramp up a fair few decibels. Could this be a simple explanation for all the granddads and their depleted hearing?!
Everything takes a million years
If you already thought it took forever and a day to leave the house, expect forever and a week following the arrival of Baby. Nappy changes, waiting for them to wake and timing feeds and poos so they integrate into a half-way decent day all add up. Where women already build in putting faces on and whatever else they need to do into their everyday lives, blokes just aren't designed that way. For us, it's all about getting up and getting out.
Poo, straight up
From the tar-like meconium to the mustard-yellow liquid stuff after a week; to the explosive 'breast milk' poo and the firmer (and smelly) goop once they start on solid food... baby poo sure is something else. And as you can see in this age of hands-on dads, mums aren't the only ones who reluctantly become self-styled experts in scatology. But it's the sheer volume of poo that gets produced that we dads would have loved some more 'heads up' on. With up to eight nappy changes a day coming from something still weighing single digits, it must surely rank it as one of the world's most puzzling ongoing mysteries.
The overt favouritism
Come on, admit it. Your baby prefers one of you over the other... and sadly for us dads it's almost always Mum that gets all the attention and affection. While it also suits Dads at times (like sleep time), it's another perplexing one. Is it just the breasts that they're after? It takes a long time for babies to learn social subtleties, so when they seem to hate dad but love mum... you've got to give the dad just a little sympathy. Prepare for rejection, New Dads!
Discuss fatherhood with other Dads in the Essential Baby male partners forum.
