Women's experience of miscarriage

The experience of miscarriage is often misunderstood by women's friends, families and the medical community, causing feelings of isolation, frustration and fear.

When Essential Baby asked me to write an article on miscarriage, I found several resources that addressed the medical side of miscarriage, but few resources that explored the emotional issues. In this article, I will not elaborate on the medical issues surrounding miscarriage: whether a woman has a 1% chance of miscarriage or a 50% chance of miscarriage is of little consequence when she has just discovered there is no heart beat. What she really needs in that moment is an empathic ear, validation of her experience, to be listened to and to be treated with compassion.

The emotional experience of miscarriage
Miscarriage can be a frightening and lonely experience. Your loss might have been so sudden that there was no way to prepare for it.  Or you might have suspected for a while that something was wrong. Or you may not have wanted to admit that this pregnancy just felt different to your others.   

Whatever your circumstances, there are many emotions surrounding miscarriage such as disbelief, anger, shock, confusion and a deep sense of loss and grief. These feelings come and go, with different intensities. You have some good days and some bad days.  But whatever your experience, you are not alone!

After a miscarriage, you grieve for a baby you never knew, and for a relationship that will never be. Your baby is a baby from the moment you find out you are pregnant. You grieve for the experiences you will not have - discovering what your baby looks like, what sort of personality she has, or how it feels to cuddle him. As Lia, an Essential Baby member found, "To us, this is a loss of life.  A life that was very much wanted, even if not planned. Women have already developed a bond with their baby, they've made plans, got hopes and dreams, just like any other new or expectant [mother]." Continued...