Resuming sex

While your sex life during pregnancy may continue normally, sex after the birth is probably going to be the last thing on your mind.

A number of things contribute to a decline in sex drive after the birth of your baby. Labour is a physically exhausting and highly emotional process, so it's only natural that your body will need some time to recover! In addition, your hormone levels change significantly after birth, and of course you will also need time to adjust to your new baby.

Why won't I feel like having sex?
It's only natural to overlook sex for days or more likely weeks, after you have your baby. Some of the reasons you may not feel like, or enjoy sex include:

- Tiredness and feelings of general discomfort

- Pain due to an episiotomy - this can sometimes take months to subside

- Feeling unattractive because of a flabby stomach - exercise will help!

- Anxiety about your new baby and the new world of motherhood

- Distractons, such as a crying or unsettled baby

- Fear of getting pregnant - conception can still occur while you're breastfeeding.

When should we start having sex again?
There are no hard and fast rules about when desire will return or when to resume your sex life - it varies for different people. While the general opinion is that sex can resume straight away, it's probably best to seek the advice of your doctor or obstetrician.

It's not just you that might not feel like making love! Your partner's sex drive can also be affected by the new baby. You need to talk about any problems together, and should also talk about when each of you is ready to resume sex.

Resuming sex has its advantages. The hormones released during sex cause contractions that will help the uterus to return to it's normal state, and of course, returning to a physical relationship can be good to renew the physical closeness between you and your partner. Continued...