Will Ferrell and John C Reilly's new movie Step Brothers is a funny look at two terminally unemployed forty year olds, Brennan and Dale, forced to live with each other when their respective parents marry. Although the new siblings make no effort to conceal their hostility they eventually realise that they have a lot in common, and become best friends.
Although familial strife is tackled irreverently, this undeniably entertaining comedy highlights a very real issue faced by many Australian stepfamilies today. The dislike, distrust, and jealousy between the stepbrothers as portrayed in the movie are not uncommon and blending a family can be more difficult than parents anticipate.
We all know the story of a man named Brady but if the iconic '70s sitcom about a blended family reflected reality, the Brady Bunch likely would have been dealing with much more than silly sibling squabbles. Recent findings by Florida State University's Assistant Professor of Sociology, Kathryn Harker Tillman (ScienceDaily - Apr 2008), "imply that family formation patterns that bring together children who have different sets of biological parents may not be in the best interests of the children involved."
"We cannot assume that over time, children will naturally 'adjust' to the new roles and relationships that arise when families are blended," she said. "This research indicates that the effects of new stepsiblings or half siblings may actually become more negative over time or, at the least, remain consistently negative."
Part of what makes stepfamily life difficult for young people is the complexity, ambiguity and stress that come with having non-traditional siblings living in the same home, she said. Stepsiblings have no shared family history that helps to develop common habits, values, customs, and expectations; and stepsiblings who are living together may also engage in, or at least perceive, more competition for parental time, attention and resources than full siblings.
Stepfamilies Australia estimates that one in every 5 families is a stepfamily and with more and more children living with stepsiblings it is important to recognise the unique challenges and stresses these families face.
Steve Martin, CEO of Stepfamilies Australia, says that developing healthy relationships takes time, so new stepsiblings should receive support and understanding, not pressure to feel as though they have to love or like each other.
Like siblings, typical stepbrothers and stepsisters are "just kids" - going to school, playing with friends, learning social skills and hobbies, and relating to family members, neighbours, and pets. Sibling relationships whether in a biological or stepfamily situation can vary widely but with support and patience stepsiblings can grow closer with age and learn to build a relationship.
This article has been supplied by Step Families Australia.
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