Part 1: Self-esteem

• John Bastick
• July 11, 2008
• Page 1 of 3 | Single Page View

Raising boys

Sons, dads and self-esteem

Every second Tuesday - through a lack of child minding and my desire to be seen as a "good" dad - I take day the day off and care for my 18-month year old son, Luca. And this particular Tuesday, for no particular reason, I took him to his first-ever outing at McDonald's. In hindsight, it was probably a dumb idea.

Firstly, the little fellow seemed unable to distinguish between the edibility of the hamburgers and the tatty plastic toys you get when you buy one. He was utterly disinterested in Ronald's indoor play equipment and, to the kid's credit; he couldn't wait to get the hell out of the place. As we made our escape in the car I turned to him and said, "Whatever you do, don't tell your mother about this."

However, as a woman does, soon as my wife got home she spotted the toxic plastic panda Luca had obviously managed to smuggle out with him. "What are you taking him there for?" she said all huffily. "I spend all this time trying to get him to eat healthily and you're taking him to McDonald's?"

Was she right? In my half-baked attempt to entertain and feed the child had I merely condemned him to a lifetime of fast-food addiction and adulthood obesity?

For this is the parlous state that we fathers often find ourselves. In our hapless attempts to be seen as a great dad are we merely just stuffing-up the child for life?

For sure, we blokes may bungle the kid's diet, send them out in clothes that don't match and pretend we can't smell a full nappy, but if there is one area we can play a pivotal role - particularly with our sons - it's in developing their self-esteems. If our boys grow up to be polite, interested, well mannered and respectful then we get to say we've done our jobs.

And it it's only now that childcare professionals are beginning to fathom the importance of self-esteem in kids, particularly in boys. And that's because a lack of it can manifest itself in so many different ways: from being shy or a recluse right through to bullying behavior. Continued...

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