Relationship considerations

Having your first baby initiates one of the biggest changes to your lifestyle that you will ever experience. While additional children will also bring changes, it is generally the first baby that causes the biggest shock!

Having a child will impact on every aspect of your life for a long time to come so you need to be well aware of what you're getting yourself into. You need to communicate openly from the start, as parenthood, while being extremely rewarding, can take a heavy toll on relationships.

The Mask of Motherhood by Susan Maushart is an ideal book for both men and women to read prior to taking the plunge into parenthood. Rather than trying to scare you away from the idea of being parents, it highlights the need to talk to others and read "real" accounts of parenting to ensure that you know exactly what you are in for!

If you want to find out a bit more from parents who are experiencing parenthood for the first time, visit the New Parents Discussion Group or our online diaries to hear from men and women who are "surviving" the first few months! While you're there, feel free to start your own diary or visit other Discussion Groups to talk to other parents!

Have you discussed returning to work?
If you are in a relationship, it is important that you discuss issues such as returning to work, childcare and financial considerations as early as possible. One of you may firmly believe that one parent should stay at home to care for your new baby for the first year or two while the other might think baby should go into care.

Financially, you may not have a choice and you may both have to return to work - the important thing is that you both clearly understand the other's views about how your baby is to be cared for.

If you are single, you may have to do some research into childcare in your area. Not all childcare centres accept small babies for instance, so depending on how soon you plan to return to work, you may need to book early to get your baby in.

You will also need to think carefully about how you are going to cope with sleepless nights then continuing a full days work on your own, particularly in the first six months while you are settling into your routines. You will need to consider how you are going to get adequate rest - maybe by getting help with housework, cooking or shopping.

To discuss more about relationships or your working life, speak with other EB members on our live forums.