My mother-in-law says I must 'hate' my daughter for sending her to boarding school

The woman's MIL tried to guilt her daughter into staying.
The woman's MIL tried to guilt her daughter into staying.  Photo: Getty Images/iStockphoto

It goes without saying that everyone wants to do the right thing for their children and support them however they can.

However, one mother of a 14-year-old girl is sick of her MIL (mother-in-law) questioning her decisions as a parent after the told her she must 'hate' her daughter for sending her to boarding school.

Explaining the situation on Reddit, the mum-of-one explained that 'G', her daughter has been a dancer since she was three.

"Her drive to do well in both school and dance is insane," she continued. "So much so that G was accepted into the best performing arts high school in the country. She's wanted to go to this school since she was eight years old and has been working towards this since."

"I am very very very proud of my daughter and all that she's accomplished in her life and I'm happy that she's gotten into the school of her dreams, even if it's a boarding school halfway across the country," the mum said.

Although she's thrilled for her daughter, her MIL is devastated that her granddaughter will be moving, saying she's "abandoning her" to go to "some school where you don't even learn anything real".

"My husband passed away eight years ago and ever since, my MIL has been borderline obsessed with G," the woman explained.

Things reached boiling point when they went shopping for school supplies, and her MIL spent the whole time begging the girl to stay at home so she'll be close to her.

The mother is extremely proud of her daughter for getting into the school.

The mother is extremely proud of her daughter for getting into the school. Photo: Getty/iStock


Asking her to stop trying to guilt her daughter into staying, her MIL replied that: "I obviously hated my daughter because I was sending her away to some school so she wouldn't bother me anymore... and that I'm forcing her to go to make up for my failed dreams." 

"She doesn't seem to understand that I'm not forcing my daughter to do anything, and this is all her," the mum said desperately. "MIL started going on and on about how G HAS to stay and CAN'T leave and how I just want to send G away, so I don't have a child anymore."

The woman ended up asking her MIL to leave because she was 'making a scene' in the middle of Target, telling her daughter she had an appointment.

"I'm honestly thinking about not letting MIL see G until she leaves in a few weeks because I think MIL can guilt trip her into staying," the mum-of-one admitted. 

"I love my daughter, and I'm crushed that she's leaving in a few weeks, but I know that this is what she wants so I'm putting on a brave face and acting like I'm excited for her as well," the torn mother said.

"AITA (Am I The A—hole) for shipping my daughter away to boarding school?"

Reddit users overwhelmingly agreed the mum was being selfless in her decision to let her attend her dream school.

"You're encouraging your daughter to follow her dreams which is what a good parent should do," one user assured her.

"It's admirable to see you put your daughters wishes in front of your own. I can't imagine how much it would hurt to be away from my child for so long, you truly are a very strong person."

Other users pointed out that the MIL was undoubtedly affected by her grief after loving her son. 

"How about you take the loving route here? Your MIL misses her son and her only living link to him is leaving. So perhaps invite her over, and instead of blaming her for guilt tripping, talk to her about how you'll miss her too, but to be able to let this girl live her dream is something really big you and MIL can do for her... Recognising your mil's feelings in an attentive conversation (rather than in between the racks of Target) may just be what mil needs to get on board with this adventure for your daughter."