'Don't make me resent the baby': JLaw, Amy Schumer and post-baby friendship

Jennifer Lawrence's texts to new mum Amy Shcumer are oh-so funny.
Jennifer Lawrence's texts to new mum Amy Shcumer are oh-so funny. Photo: YouTube

When Jennifer Lawrence texted her bestie, Amy Schumer, at 11pm last week, it was a full-blown "emergency."

The Hunger Games actress couldn't remember a crucial plot point from season one of The Handmaid's Tale. 

"Amy!!! What did she do on season 1 to deserve being in the gallows on season 2?" Lawrence writes. "I can't remember where I left off."

When she doesn't receive a response from the new mum straight away, Lawrence adds: "Are you asleep bc of the baby? Are you asleep before 11? Is this bc of the baby? Don't make me resent the baby."

Schumer eventually replies  "Hi! I'm awake! She ran away."

The 38-year-old later posted the exchange to Instagram, writing: "Everybody keeping their cool about me having a baby." 

Schumer welcomed baby Gene with her partner Chris Fischer on 7 May.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

A post shared by Jennifer Lawrence fan Account (@jlawrenceupdatess) on

The texts have mums around the world chuckling - and not just because Lawrence is saved as "JLaw" in Schumer's phone. They're the perfect illustration of the shift that happens in friendships when one party has a baby and the other has to adjust to their mate's new parenting status.

But while JLaw and Schumer's banter shows the funny side of this change the reality is, it's not always easy.  In fact, it can be incredibly painful - and for many women, come as quite a shock.

"People that don't have kids don't understand!" one BabyCentre forum user wrote in a discussion around losing friends post-baby. "I've found that lots of my friends just didn't understand when it was the wrong time of day or bubs wasn't in a social mood or I just couldn't bring myself to get ready to go out. I just remind myself that one day when they have kids they will understand!"

"I haven't heard from any of my friends since having my kids," admitted another. "We were just at different stages which I knew and accepted (although difficult). They were still single and going out and I was married with a child."

But while anecdotal reports abound, research paints a similar picture. One survey of over 600 mums found that before children, women spent 14 hours per week with friends, but only 5 hours after. And for 45 per cent of women, having a baby meant having fewer friends. Less time, changing priorities and downright exhaustion simply makes socialising more difficult.

Recent research found that it's not just mums who experience changes to their friendships after having a baby -  dads lose mates, too. A large survey of global fathers commissioned by the Movember foundation found that about 20 per cent of fathers say that the number of close friends they had decreased in the 12 months after becoming a father, with almost a quarter describing it as an isolating time.

But it's not all bad news.

While many parents do lose friends after having a baby,or at least temporarily until their mates have kids too, motherhood also provides one of those rare opportunities in your life post high school and university, to make new friends. Mothers' groups may be based around the fact that you all happened to have children at approximately the same time and live in the same suburb, but if you're lucky, bonds formed over vomit, third-degree tears and sleep-deprivation can be pretty damn strong.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

A post shared by Becky Barnicoat (@beckybarnicomics) on