Inappropriate, weird Secret Santa gifts

"Yep, sounds like a desperate last minute dash to the shops to me."
"Yep, sounds like a desperate last minute dash to the shops to me." Photo: Getty Images

The office Secret Santa is always a bit of a hit and miss affair – one year you can get something that suits you and your tastes, the next year you can end up with something more suited to your Great Aunt Beryl or the next door neighbour's five-year-old.

Essential Baby forum members have shared the inappropriate and weird Secret Santa gifts they've received in the past – and we're sure HR would have a few words to say about some of them ...

• "My husband has just rocked in from his work Christmas lunch with his Secret Santa gift ... a blow up midget doll."

• "I got a mouse that was shaped like a vagina, and the scroll button was the you-know-what. It didn't get used at work."

• "Our boss had recently been through a messy divorce and was given a book of pick-up lines. He went mental and demanded to know who'd given it – but we didn't tell."

• "My daughter came home from her Year 1 school Christmas party with her Secret Santa gift: a pair of used salt and pepper shakers in the shape of pumpkins. Just what every six-year-old is longing for."

• "I got a bottle of ale and bottle opener with 'grumpy old git' on it. I was in my early 30s."

• "A lady I once worked with was given a four-pack of Whiskers cat food."


• "As a vegetarian 16-year-old I was given a very large salami, by my boss."

• "I was given a very large black soap on a rope in the shape of a male appendage, along with a box of condoms." 

• "I once got a keyring with 'I am a bitch' on it. I had no idea who had selected me as their gift recipient, but I used it with pride." 

• "I was given a small painted wooden statue of a standing frog - ahem - touching itself. I'm still not sure what to make of that."

• "I once got a Pope on a Rope ... for me to 'wash away all my sins'."

• "My olive dish is my head scratcher of a gift. At least that was the consensus of what it was – I'm still not even sure."

• "My sister got a brand new diary ... for the year that was just ending." 

• "I was once given fluffy handcuffs. I wasn't impressed. Especially when I later discovered they were from a male manager."

• "I once got a Secret Santa gift that was a small book titled The Book of Excuses for Bludgers. I'd only been working there a few months."

• "My boss got a can of dog food."

• "I got a sock monkey covered in dog hair. It was filthy."

• "An opened mouldy packet of coffee was given in our work Secret Santa exchange – two years running. The same packet."

• "I was given a leg of lamb. From my boss."

• "Someone once gave a mixed collection of magazines: a quilting mag, a handyman mag, a Marie Claire and a Playboy. Someone trying to cover all personalities of staff, perhaps?"

Had any shockers of your own? Comment below.