Focus on the positives in your life to keep you on an even keel, writes Jennifer Dalitz.
It's 9pm and my son is finally asleep in the next room. I planned to write this earlier but after a run of meetings and several fires to put out, it was a rush to meet the day-care deadline.
As a seasoned project manager, I'm very comfortable with deadlines but this is one I don't dare miss. My husband is unexpectedly away on business, so the pick-ups have reverted to me and there was an extra, small participant at this morning's networking breakfast.
It's no wonder my glass of red is going down such a treat. Does any of this sound familiar?
I never imagined I'd be writing an article for working parents. My life was full enough as it was and there's never a "right time" for a career woman to start a family. Yet here we are.
So is it possible to have it all, or is that just a pipedream?
In my pregnancy I was open to the idea of taking a career break for a year or two but by the time Ethan was four weeks old it was clear that wouldn't be the best thing for any of us.
I've learned that as a working parent your career can not only survive but thrive.
Here are a few of the things that have helped me maintain my sanity and my career:
Ditch the downers
Being a mum is the hardest job I've ever taken on – managing million-dollar budgets and hundreds of workers is a walk in the park by comparison.
So I knew from the get-go I couldn't do this on my own. Ethan's fabulous preschool, my gorgeous family and friends and my cleaner have been pivotal supporters.
And as for all those friends and colleagues who weren't supporters ... I have learnt to avoid them at all costs.
Focus on what matters most
We're all different but the point is to first get clear about what matters most to you. Only then can you clearly communicate it to your family, your friends and your boss.
What matters most for my husband and I is that our entire family is happy, cared for and intellectually challenged.
A career break was not going to deliver these outcomes to any of us – including my son, who enjoys the stimulation of preschool just as I enjoy the challenge of my work.
Don't throw the baby out with the bathwater!
If your pre-children job doesn't fit with what matters most, your first instinct may be to find a new job but first consider what you'd be leaving behind and what a new job might mean: six months of a learning curve with possible overtime and increased stress.
So could you do your old job part-time, as a job share or with more flexible working arrangements?
It may not be your most productive or rewarding time but it will keep up the momentum and ease you back in.
Play to your strengths
There's no one more efficient in the office than that parent who ploughs through work in double-quick time to be out of the door and at the day-care centre before closing time. There's no overtime, no long coffee breaks – often no breaks at all ... perfect in a GFC for keeping productivity up and business overheads down. I was amazed at how my own productivity picked up. For the first time I truly embraced the 80:20 rule. I can't believe the impact this has had on my business – productively, I'm twice the woman I used to be.
Adopt a 'need to know' attitude
I'm aware that although my son is the apple of my eye, my colleagues may not share my delight or have as much interest in my parenting dramas.
If you have a sick child and can't make a meeting or have to leave in time for day care or it's a non-day-care day, simply suggest an alternative time. Going into the details of parenting problems only perpetuates the stereotypes about working parents.
Be kind to yourself
It's very difficult for working parents to find time for themselves. Outside of work, the guilt factor drives you to spend every free moment with your family. Suddenly, you come last.
But taking good care of yourself – physically, emotionally and intellectually – is essential for maintaining your resilience. You'll make a huge difference by eating well, exercising and finding a little window of "me time" every week.
Enjoy the journey
I distinctly remember the first time my son smiled, because it happened when I thought things couldn't get any harder and was a pivotal moment. As a working parent you might not be able to stay back to meet a deadline, promotions may be fewer and farther between and you'll have to deal with challenges that are simply out of kilter with any career plan. But those smiles are worth more than you'll earn in your lifetime, so enjoy them while you can.
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