Did you 'let yourself go' as a new Mum, or did you never have it in the first place?
After the school run this morning I poured a cup of coffee and opened the paper to the charming headline ‘Aussie Mums are Frumps.’ Nice, thanks for that. It continued with "Aussie mums must stop being schoolyard frumps and become yummy mummies, a Melbourne author and mother says.” By now I was steaming as much as my coffee and had already started to construct my indignant response. However, by the time I’d finished the article I found myself kind of agreeing with the premise. Kind of.
In her new book, The Mum Who Roared, author and mother of two Christie Nicholas writes that she wants mothers to stop wallowing in guilt, and try to be happy, healthy, sexy and spunky. She says that we often forget our needs as a woman, too busy wrapped up in the needs of our children.
Now, I’m sure there’s not a mother alive who isn’t guilty of that, but does reclaiming some self-focus really have to involve looking like a ‘Yummy Mummy?’
Firstly, I hate the term Yummy Mummy. It’s just another form of focusing on how women look, rather than what we do, which we already have enough of thanks very much. And at a time in our lives when we’re already drenched in responsibility, time commitments, sleep deprivation, baby weight and soggy weetbix we could do without the extra pressure of looking hot as well.
However, I do agree with the author that we shouldn’t use motherhood as an excuse to let ourselves go. Not let our looks go, but let OURSELVES go.
Even more than I hate the term Yummy Mummy I hate the phrase ‘I’m just a mum.’ Too often women relegate themselves as less than because they are at home with children, rather than participating in the work force. But there is no ‘just’ about it. The role of mother carries more weight, more responsibility, more required skill and more social importance than most jobs and we should give it the respect it deserves. No one expects the doctor who is treating them to be a ‘Yummy Doctor’ do they? No one complains when their University Professor is ‘a bit of a frump.’
But I do concur with Ms Nicholas when she says “Motherhood can transform you into a better version of who you thought you were if you are up for the challenge."
Personally, I am stronger, more capable, more resourceful and more caring than I ever was before I became a mum, but it has nothing to do with how I look.
True, motherhood shouldn’t be an excuse to hide. And that includes hiding behind our children, excess weight, inside our house, behind our partners, or behind a wardrobe that renders us invisible. But all of those things stem from confidence, so rather than focusing on how we look we need to work on building up the confidence and self esteem of mums. So that we don’t feel the need to hide at all.
I’m sure the paper’s take on the book, particularly the headline, sensationalized the message and I would hope it's focus is more on how mums can work on their inner happiness and healthiness, than their outer appearance. Because one directly affects the other and inner confidence and contentment is the sexiest thing of all. Even in a tracksuit.
Do you agree? Comment on Amity's blog in the Essential Baby Forums.
