Finding a balance: Katie Schmidt, Kat Tate and Caroline Overington
Recent surveys show Australia is one of the most overworked countries in the world, with people working up to 50 hours a week. With Australia in the midst of a baby boom, many parents are feeding their kids toast in the back seat of the car on the way to child care and working after hours to keep up, trying to maintain a certain standard of living while also overseeing their numerous commitments.
This ambition drives many people to juggle multiple roles at full capacity, but at the detriment of work and life balance.
Social demographer Bernard Salt coined the term Nettels (Not Enough Time To Enjoy Life) to describe the demographic of traditional nuclear families where both parents are working full time in well paying jobs with children under 15 who are forever shuttling between home, work and school. Nettels are basically DINKS (Double Income, No Kids Couples) who have become parents and are trying to uphold the same lifestyle they had before kids.
“The surefire way of discerning a Nettel is the fact that every evening they whip out their Blackberries and negotiate the next days activities,” says Salt. “High expectations of lifestyle drive Nettels. There is status in being busy. They need the money to keep up the pretence of a happy, successful and consumerist existence.”
Only 7% of Australian families can actually be classified as Nettels but many other families share similar traits – being time poor, having high stress levels and seeking financial stability to be able to afford everyday expenses and a mortgage but they also want to enjoy their money with travel, entertainment and gifts. However the difference is that they do not revel in being busy in the same way as Nettels and are willing to compromise on somethings to lessen the pressure, guilt and logistical complexities they face on a daily basis.
Consequently, young women who are yet to have children who see their co-workers and friends struggle are adopting a different mindset and pre-emptively entering into self employment in future preparation for motherhood, and so they have enough time for regular holidays, hobbies and quality time with family. This is often motivated by working in companies where there is little understanding from bosses and childless colleagues for their working parent counterparts.
Kat, 25, opened her professional organising business, Kat & Kaboodle, for this reason. “I worked for several public relations firms and saw colleagues who had children always rushing in late from the school drop-off, or having to leave abruptly to pick up sick children from school. I saw how it disrupted their day and stressed them out,” she says. “I also heard childless colleagues stand around the photocopier and complain about them. There was definitely a clear divide between those with kids and those without and how they were treated, which I didn’t think was fair to anyone. I knew that having my own business and having a say over when and where I worked was the only way I could be the mother I am so excited to be. My work/life balance is amazing and I wouldn’t trade it for anything. I take my puppy Charlie for a walk every day and recharge my batteries by regularly visiting my parents in the Hunter Valley which is where a lot of my business ideas evolve.”
Lauren, 28, is owner of her book keeping company Inspired Business Solutions and entered self employment so that she could have flexibility to pursue specific goals before becoming a parent later on in life, which wasn’t always an option when she worked for someone else. “I worked full time before setting up my business and experienced many cases of employees starting and finishing early in order to be with their families and somewhat preferential treatment surrounding annual leave during school holiday periods. So when I started the business my intention was to work hard for a few years to create more lifestyle flexibility in the future, with enough time and money to enjoy all my interests such as funding my ambition as a photographer and travelling, and the current structure of my business would support starting a family.”
However being self employed doesn’t guarantee work and personal life equilibrium. Technology such as iPhones, Blackberries, PDAs, fax machines, web email access, Skype and wireless devices enable people to work anywhere but it is a fine line that requires a lot of attention to keep the balance right.
Katie, 25, of Square One PR started her business at 19, has been working non-stop for six years and realises some adjustments will need to be made before becoming a mother. “Running your own business is a 24/7 deal. Dreaming of work and jotting down ideas at 3am is just part of the parcel. Travel tends to be work related or slotted in between client needs. I remember sending something on my Blackberry seconds before I jumped in a white water raft in Queenstown a few years back and while skiing this year I would answer my phone or emails while I was on chairlifts and when everyone got stuck into the schnapps at night I would often be on my laptop.
Technology allows me to respond quickly to media opportunities for our clients but I’ve started putting my Blackberry on silent over the weekends so emails don’t interrupt my special moments. We’re looking to take on more team members at Square One PR so the support mechanisms are in place when I want to start having children. I’d hate to get to a point where I couldn’t have kids because I left it too long growing the business,” she says.
Self employment is an ideal solution for working flexibly but it’s not always possible, especially in industries such as retail, medicine and hospitality. There are ways to manage career and family effectively while working for someone else and staying afloat financially. One way is to take advantage of the new technology available to help things run smoothly, rather than remaining connected to work all day, every day.
Siobhan, 33, says technology enables her to work flexibly in client services for a marketing agency, while also parenting her nine month old son. “I wanted to work part time after Jake was born and I would like to be able to leave work at the end of my two days but the industry I’m in doesn’t work like that,” she says. “I definitely wouldn’t be able to work part time without my laptop and VPN (Virtual Private Network) access. It allows me to leave the office and pick up Jake with a relaxed mind as I know I can finish anything urgent once Jake is in bed but it can encroach on our time as a family. But my husband and I like spending our money and we’re lucky that we can save every month and my salary definitely helps towards this.”
Carmen, 28, is a nursing student and mother of six children aged 7 to six months, and says rotating child care shifts with her husband and careful budgeting are crucial to combining her study with providing financially for a large family on one wage. “It’s not that uncommon for me to finish at 9:30pm and my husband to start work at 10pm - we work around my clinical roster and uni timetable. My husband will often take the kids out so I can work on an assignment or I’ll be up late after the kids go to bed and we tend to do a lot of bill paying and errand running when our oldest three children are in calisthenics on the weekend. We still like to go away on holidays and will save and wait for specials to pop up such as when we were able to book return flights to and from Bali for the whole family,” she says. “After I finish nursing I’ll do a further qualification in midwifery but I’ll work four days a week so I have enough time with my children.”
Journalist and mother of twins Caroline Overington says the key to her work and life balance working in the media industry, which is ruled by deadlines, is keeping her priorities very straight. “I learnt the hard way,” she says. “I’ve done my time trying to feed the babies with one hand and answer the phone with the other. I’ve had to answer emails on the sports oval, at the risk of missing a goal kicked by my son...and I found that very difficult.
And I thought how to manage this? The children are obviously the most important thing. And I went from there. Work sometimes gets cranky if I say I can’t go to Indonesia on the next flight because my daughter is playing a tree in a Dr Seuss play but we go to everything, which means first day at school, report night, soccer, ballet, Nippers and end of year concerts. It would be a shame if women thought they couldn’t work, travel, have children and have other adventures. Young women, in particular, have the world at their feet, and I’m so pleased when they tell me they are going to do it all.”
The younger generation may be the force behind a revolutionised attitude to work and life balance in the future but at this time, most mums and dads take on the challenge of an intensified balancing act between work and family because they have no alternative. The key to achieving balance is to be creative, and mix up periods of work with recreation. Make the most of daylight savings hours to do summer activities with your kids in the evenings during school holidays, utilise on-site child care to see your children during your lunch break and try and turn business travel into a long weekend with the family when possible. Ideally, every other area of your life should fit in around your family.
As Siobhan says, “I just try to make each situation work with Jake in mind, such as entertaining at home on weekends, as we can relax with friends while he is in bed. Balance seems eternally elusive but I believe everything we’re doing now will pay off in the future.”
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