Stepfamilies Australia has the following tips for step parents.
- Don't expect your stepfamily to work like a biological family. Keep in mind that the stepfamily is a family built on loss.
- A stepmother's role is different to being a mother. Think of it as more like a friend, mentor or caring aunt.
- Don't expect close loving relationships between all family members. Stepfamily members might grow to love each other in time, but they may not.
- Encourage an environment of mutual respect and understanding.
- Don't expect the stepfamily to run smoothly from the beginning. It takes time to develop common goals and values and to develop a family history and traditions.
- Work with your partner to enforce house rules and discipline.
- Don't feel like a failure if you don't develop a close relationship with your stepchildren.
This might not happen because of past histories - yours and your stepchild's, individual personalities and different expectations.
- Learn more about the realities of stepfamily life by reading books and taking courses, and join a stepfamily support group.
- Find outside help if necessary, and make sure the counsellor is familiar with stepfamily dynamics.
Discuss these issues and more in the Step and Blended Families forum.
For more information visit http://www.stepfamily.org.au
