Parents issue list of acceptable gifts for their toddler's birthday

Is a birthday gift list over the top?
Is a birthday gift list over the top? Photo: Shutterstock

A woman has asked fellow mums if she is being unreasonable for questioning her brother and sister-in-law's stringent birthday present requests for their daughter.

The pair asked her to advise them how much money she was going to spend on their daughter's present so they could tell her what to buy from a specified list of gifts.

And here's the kicker. Their child is just two-years-old.

The annoyed aunty asked fellow Mumsnet users if her feelings about the whole situation were unreasonable, after her brother and sister-in-law messaged her asking how much she'd be spending on their child.

The pair normally send $10 in a card to her children.

"I was a bit taken back we have very minimal contact, they don't ask about the kids and have very little interaction with us," she said.

"I didn't reply because I couldn't believe how cheeky she was.

"Personally the point of getting a child a birthday present is to pick something out you would think they would like. If I didn't want to then I would ask what they would like."

After telling them she preferred to pick out her own gifts they said: "not to bother".

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"Who's unreasonable?" she asked.

The responses were mixed, but many thought a list for a two-year-old was ridiculous.

"A 2 year old baby doesn't have a list. They'll play with anything at that age. She probably barely understands her birthday is coming up," said one person.

"All it does is teach kids that they can have exactly what they want just by asking for it, instead of teaching them to understand the thought that goes into choosing a present and being grateful that someone bought them something nice. And we wonder why kids are such spoiled brats. Pfft," said another.

This person said: "This is so grubby. Asking how much you're spending? Ugh."

Others said the idea of a gift list was a great idea, but forcing people to use it was rude.

"Nothing wrong with a list for several reasons. Stops repeat presents, ensures the gift is wanted and will be appreciated. Insisting that everyone sticks to the list is rude however, people should be able to pick and choose," one person said.

While this person said: "My kids have always had wishlists, but it's so that the grandparents and aunts and uncles can have an idea of the sorts of things they like. We've always been very clear that the list is just to help, and not mandatory! We also only send it to people who ask. I don't think the list is a problem. I think your SIL/brother's approach is."

And another said: "My kids have always had wishlists. Link only sent if I'm asked by family or very close friends what the child wants. Ensure age appropriate gifts aren't duplicates, don't take up too much room and stand a chance of being used. The random gifts we get often don't get played with which is a waste."

But these were some of the best answers.

"I so so hate consumerism. A 2yo would be so happy with a snuggle and a candle to blow out."

And this: "Buy a My First Calculator - a gift the whole family can enjoy!"