The way parents manage problems can teach children important life skills. Finding solutions together can help the whole family.
1 If you are still deciding on whether you want to take on the lifestyle where one parent works elsewhere, picture what it will look like. You may want to come up with a family plan based on shared future goals.
2 Consider how each partner is feeling and offer support to meet their practical and emotional needs. Try setting aside time to discuss frustrations and work out solutions.
3 Be aware that there may always be re-adjustment issues when Dad/partner returns and leaves again. Everyone will cope in their own way and it is important to remain patient and understanding. Communicate to each other how you are feeling and try to part with each other on good terms.
4 It is important for both parents to recognise that they have both been working hard while Dad/partner has been away and that each may need some ‘time out’ separately, as well as reconnecting as a couple and family.
5 When managing children’s behaviour be consistent and support each other. Discuss and set family rules and apply logical consequences for misbehaviour whether Dad is home or away.
6 Remember, children may misbehave as a result of the constant changes in their routine and they may not know how to express this verbally.
7 Try to make sure your children understand that Dad is leaving and that they have the opportunity to say good bye. If Dad leaves early in the morning, it might suit to say goodbye the night before. Dad might like to spend some extra quality time with the kids during the bedtime routine.
8 Be prepared to negotiate with your employer so that your working arrangements and roster work for you and your family.
9 It is important to ensure you have adequate home security so that you all feel safe while Dad is away and have a well-planned emergency procedure should something happen.
“It’s a lifestyle, it’s going to affect everything you do. If you’re happy with it that’s good, but you shouldn’t be trapped in a lifestyle. It’s a matter of balancing up what you get out of it,” Jonathon
This article has been supplied by the Department for Communities. Parenting WA - the Parenting Line is a free 24/7 telephone service for information and advice on any parenting matter. (08) 6279 1200 or 1800 654 432
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