Six boxes are purposefully placed in my road. Unfortunately, the furniture inside them is not putting itself together.
It will require all the cabinetmaking prowess I can muster, which is to say that I'll be relying on my high school woodwork experience. And my, what a spice rack that was.
The nursery is starting to take shape, but a chest of drawers, a change table and a cot now require assembly.
This is where all my Lego training will come in handy, although I’m starting to wish I’d spent more time with the Meccano set instead.
It’s an enjoyable challenge, pushing the limits of one’s manual dexterity and instruction sheet comprehension skills.
It’s not like a CD cabinet though, where the most significant damage that would result from poor construction might be scratching The Essential Bonnie Tyler Collection. A child’s life could be at stake here, so making sure every bolt is tightened is critical.
Although it’s thoroughly satisfying putting furniture together, it’s not exactly building a set of cattle yards or securing roof trusses. Let’s face it: the risk of me experiencing one-inch hardwood splinters or a flesh wound from a slipped chisel is pretty minimal.
No, this is somewhat basic stuff and there will be no “war stories” of how the Babyhood Georgia Sleigh Cot (walnut) came together.
But this time has lead to me coining a new medical condition: Allen Key Wrist (or AKW, as Ikea shoppers commonly diagnose it).
You may notice there are only three pieces of furniture to be built, but that I mentioned six boxes. That indicates there are so many parts for some of these items that they require shipping in two vessels.
The worse thing I can do is verbally express difficulty in putting an item together. The response “Try building a child inside you!” is never far away.
A bonus from the whole situation? We’ve got plenty of cardboard boxes ready for cubby house construction one day - and then a roll of masking tape will gladly replace the Allen key, and keep that pesky AKW away.
Read more of Ashley's blog at Queensland Country Life.