Swedish dads on paternity leave: Pär, with Alexander, 18 months
Have you ever taken a weekday walk around town, and everywhere you look there are fathers pushing prams without a mother in sight? Eleanor James saw just such an astonishing sight on a recent trip to Stockholm.
Sweden is a country known for its many progressive policies and generous tax-funded welfare system. It is also a world-leader in promoting gender equality parenting. Having a child in Sweden is a right, not an inconvenience.
Since the 1970s, reforms have been in place to support working parents, and to foster the notion that the role of the father in raising a child is just as important as the role of the mother.
In the last five years, Swedish dads have been enabled to embrace fatherhood like never before, thanks to 60 days out of the standard 480 days paid parental leave being declared dedicated ‘daddy days’. Many employers’ attitudes have also changed, reducing the stigma of fathers taking time off work or working part time during the early, integral years of their child’s lives.
Pär, father of Alexander, 18 months
The improved financial paternity leave benefits seen in Sweden over the last five years have wealth manager Pär considering himself lucky to be a dad in Sweden.
It is now financially viable for fathers like him to take time off work to learn the joys and challenges of parenting and get to know his son, Alexander.
Pär is taking five months' paternity leave, which is considered normal amongst his social circle.
"Most of my friends have been away for six months or so in total. Mostly it's taken all at once," he says.
Pär is also fortunate to have a supportive employer who tops up his paid leave by an extra 10 per cent, allowing him to earn 90 per cent of his salary whilst he is at home with Alexander.
As business controller in a stock market company, Pär's workload is covered by his colleagues, and not by a paternity leave contracted role, the likes of which are rare. Two out of the 16 fathers working in his division are currently on paternity leave.
However Pär's time at home as a new father was harder than he thought it would be.
"The first week at home was an eye-opener! I was very tired," admits Pär. "I thought I'd have time to fix up the house."
As mothers know, Pär soon discovered that midday nap time was the only baby-free time afforded to him, but needed to be spent washing and tidying. Pär quickly gained a better understanding of just how hard a mother works when she's at home with the baby.
Johan father of Filip, 18 months
At new father Johan's first-round job interview, he boldly stated that he needed six months' part-time paternity leave within 10 months of starting his new role, should he get the job. His prospective employer didn't even blink.
Sharing part-time work arrangements and parenting duties for six months, Johan and his wife Maria took time out to enjoy being a family and to travel with their baby son Filip.
Says Johan, "Paternity leave is a good chance to relax and get to know your child".
He also discovered that it was a wonderful opportunity to meet other dads, mainly through his wife's mothers' group. Like Pär, he also arranges to meet up with friends in his neighbourhood who are also new fathers at the playground.
Because children must be at least one year old before attending subsidised municipal daycare centres (at which they are guaranteed a place), many working parents share their parental leave so that the mother is home for part or all of the first year due to breastfeeding, with the father taking leave during the subsequent year.
This was how Johan and Maria shared their parental leave. Because their leave can be accrued until Filip is eight years old, they are wisely saving some days for the future to have longer summer holidays. The standard five to six weeks' annual leave can then be extended to allow for 10 weeks' summer holidays when Filip is at school.
"I've come to realise what's important to me and it's not to work 10 hours a day", smiles Johan.
Victor, father of Oliver, 19 months
Trainer Victor has been home alone with son Oliver for the past three months, with another three months paternity leave remaining before he returns to work, teaching students the business management skills to start their own companies. Like Johan, Victor's partner was home with their baby during the first year.
He sees nothing unusual about fathers taking time out to look after their children.
"There's always a mix of mums and dads at the playground," he attests. "Here, we are just parents."
Not one to honour the 'stay-at-home' element of being a 'stay-at-home dad', Victor takes Oliver out in his pram every day, looking for new things around town that will excite his son and encourage his learning and development.
"I can choose between being home doing nothing, or look at all the things to do in Stockholm," enthuses Victor.
A local guide, 238 Things To Do in Stockholm This Month, is Victor's bible for his daily outings with Oliver.
So if spending quality time with your toddler is so enriching for both parent and child, why don't all fathers take paternity leave?
"It's about the money," Victor says. He is aware that there is pressure from his parents to save money for the future, but there's no debate about his staying home to build the foundations for a strong relationship with his son.
"It's no big deal in Sweden. It's like drinking water when you're thirsty. You don't have to explain yourself."
Discuss with other parents in the working and parenting forum.
Related: Paid leave and equal parenting: Sweden shows us how it should be
