Kylie Orr
So Julia’s got the top job. Being a-political, I’m not sure which words to use for that news. Congratulations?
What is vastly more interesting to me, is how she achieved her success, and at what cost. Can you be truly successful without trading something off?
Did Julia secure the big gig by feigning loyalty to the top dog and then sticking the sword in at the midnight hour? Was her naked ambition a greater drive than human decency? What did she give up to be where she is today?
I was trying to avoid treading the path of Julia minus children equals success, however, it is a hard one to pass up. She pursued a successful legal career, which led eventually to politics. Her career history is an M&M cookie full of achievements. She has drive, intelligence and fiery red hair (because we all know how important appearance is when managing the country!) She also has no children. By choice or not by choice, it is none of my business. And as far as her ability to run the country competently, her family make up is completely inconsequential.
But as a working mum, I do wonder if Julia could have made it to the top job if she had children. Would her employers have supported her through maternity leave and let her return to her job part-time so she could raise a family and achieve career success? Would she have ever been considered as a partner in a legal firm after three short years if she was unable to stay until 10pm to tie up the loose ends of that all-consuming case? On the flip side, if she returned full-time and stayed until 10pm, whilst her partner adopted the role at home, would her family relationships suffer?
They are such tired and oft-trodden questions but the answers still suck which means we need to keep chewing on the issues and spitting them out with some better options. Strangely, they seem to be questions that refer more to women than men.
Earlier this year in TV series Masterchef we saw two female contestants voluntarily leave the top 24, naming family commitments as their reasons.
In order for these two women to chase their dream of being Australia’s next Masterchef, they had to leave home for an unknown amount of time, separating from their partners and children. They had to make it entirely about them. As annoyed as I was for the women leaving (didn’t they realise the commitment they had made?), I had genuine empathy for their predicament.
So, the core question is: do you have to be selfish to be successful?
I dream of nicking off to the south of France to sit in some historical character-bursting chateau soaking up the European sun, inhaling some lavender and eating Brie on breadstick for breakfast. Oh, and perhaps coming up with a worthy novel. It seems realising my dream is somewhat hampered by finances, rugrats and the fact I currently have no plot or characters to speak of. If I wanted to chase that dream, I would have to consider going it alone, or having my family move with me, forcing my husband to find work in a foreign country, relocating my children to not just a new school but an entirely different way of life. I am confident we would quickly adapt, but I am unsure my desire (and ability) to succeed has the strength to put my family through that.
Maybe the answer lies in the definitions. What you consider success, may not require any selfishness. Or maybe it is selfish NOT to be successful if it leaves you yearning a dream you could have achieved if only you hadn’t put others before yourself.
Michael Jordan once said, “To be successful you have to be selfish, or else you never achieve. And once you get to your highest level, then you have to be unselfish. Stay reachable. Stay in touch. Don’t isolate.”
Could he have a point? Julia, what do you think?
Or is success more about the cliche of journey versus destination? Maybe that journey doesn’t need to be a selfish one.
I have no answers, only questions.
Instead I will leave it to Herbert Swope (an American editor and journalist), to sum up with this poignant phrase:
“I cannot give you the formula for success, but I can give you the formula for failure – which is, try to please everybody all the time.”
What do you think? Do you have to be selfish to be successful? Is there always a trade-off or a price to pay? Do you feel successful? Comment on Kylie's Blog.
