"Whatever you do, don't google it."
That's the (rather insistent) advice my friend passed on when I told her, just days ago, that I'd never heard of the Baby Shark song.
If only I'd listened - to her and not the bloody song - because life will never be the same again.
Now, if you have no idea what I'm talking about then please, SAVE YOURSELF. Log off, go and have a nice cup of tea and remain blissfully unaware. But, if you're one of the families who've contributed to the fact that this ditty of a tune has been viewed 1.6 billion times on YouTube then read on - you are now beyond help.
Produced by South Korean kids' group PinkFong back in 2016, for some reason this version of the ear worm, (sing it with me folks: "Baby Shark Doo doo doo doo doo doo") has recently gone viral, even hitting the UK Top 40. It's currently sitting at number 37, rubbing fins with Ariane Granda and Drake.
And parents everywhere are suffering.
There's nowhere to hide:
Not even at work:
Chance the Rapper suggested it to new mama Cardi B, so I'd say he's off the Christmas list this year.
And even Amy Shark couldn't resist tweeting about the latest banger to hit the daycare dance floor.
Amy Shark do do do do do do— Amy Shark (@AmySharkMusic) August 30, 2018
One teen took her fandom to the next level by getting the lyrics tattooed on her arm after a few too many drinks last Friday night.
"We went out afterwards and I was showing it to everyone," the 18-year-old told The Sun. "People were coming up to me and taking pictures of it. I was a bit like 'what have I done?' but I just found it funny. It's a good memory to have and I don't regret it at all."
While I applaud her commitment I'm slightly confused about her choice of ink given the lyrics are already TATTOOED ON OUR BRAINS. But I digress ...
Thankfully, it's not all bad. In fact, would you believe that this horror show of a modern nursery rhyme could even save your life.
"We found a practical use of the "baby shark" song that is probably already going round your head," tweeted Jon T of Yorks Ambulance, explaining that at almost 110 beats per minute it's perfect for CPR.
Retweet... We found a practical use of the #babyshark song that is probably already going round in your head! @YorksAmbulance @TheBHF #CPR #resuscitation @stjohnambulance @ResusCouncilUK pic.twitter.com/HsYZLJU4QB— Jon T (@YAS_JonT) September 3, 2018
Personal trainer, Biggest Loser alumni and mama-of-one Tiffiny Hall just posted a baby shark inspired work out.
And, if you've ever found yourself thinking, "You know what this song needs? A biochemical analysis. Well, you're in luck.
I have no doubt that by now, the song is stuck in your head too - and for that I apologise. So what's a sleep-deprived parent who can't stop doo doo doo-ing, doo doo doo (sorry) to get the song out of their head. Well, according to scientific studies of ear worms (yep that's a thing) you can either sing a "cure" song (God Save The Queen is apparently the most popular cure tune) or simply give in and just listen to Baby Shark in its entirety.
Alternatively, you could always take a trip down memory lane and revisit this classic ear worm from the 90s.