Symantha and her daughter
Essential Baby chats to journalist, charity ambassador and TV personality Symantha Perkins about her busy role as a Mum of three.
Symantha, how many children do you have and what ages/sex are they?
I have 3 kids Georgia (girl) 11, Harry 10 and Charlie (girl) 4.
What has surprised you the most about becoming a mother?
The simple things like the immense joy of a kiss and cuddle from your child and tucking them into bed at night. I’m also constantly amazed at how much we mums can do despite being bone weary and having to juggle so much in the daily routine that is parenting.
Did you take much time away from work when you had children? Why/why not?
I have a complicated medical history and so for me “time off work” wasn’t a choice but a necessity during all of our pregnancies at various stages. After delivering the kids I was extremely lucky to be in a position to choose to stay home and spend time with our newborns. When I was ready I gradually eased back into work but I’m also fortunate that the type of work (journalism, public speaking and modelling) can be flexible and so I made my career fit in around my life as a mum. Of course like most modern parents I’ve been caught out many times and work/life balance is something I’m constantly working hard to get right.
Logistically, how do you manage your work and childcare?
Our older kids are almost at high school age so they are able to take on more responsibilities now but we also have a 4-year-old and the age difference is a tricky dynamic especially when it comes to arranging childcare. I rely heavily on a wonderfully supportive network of friends and family and had to learn a long time ago that it’s ok to ask for help. Parenting is difficult for all of us and asking others to lend you a hand is not a sign of failure. Superwoman is a cartoon character, she’s not real and so being perfect is impossible, the sooner I learnt that lesson the job seemed less daunting.
What is the hardest element of being a working mother?
Guilt. There are always times; even if it’s just a brief moment that guilt plays havoc with my mothering confidence. You simply can’t be in two places at the same time and so there are times when career or child misses out. Guilt can be a crippling emotion and to top it off women are our own harshest markers. We need to cut ourselves some slack sometimes.
What do you think about 'me time'? Do you manage to get it and what do you like to do?
Like most mums “me time” is usually last on my list – although I do try to make at least 5 or 10 minutes a day to read usually at bed time. I also go to the gym because I know it helps keep me healthy and I always feel better after exercising even though I don’t look forward to it. I enjoy walking my two dogs. For pure indulgence I love going to the day spa for a massage and nothing lifts my spirits more than lunch with good friends (dinners are hard because I usually fall asleep before the entrees arrive).
In regards to continuing work, have there been times when you’ve thought ‘this is just too hard!’ and considered giving up your work to become a full time mum?
Who hasn't? Of course there are days when I feel like tossing it all in but as they say life wasn’t meant to be easy and if it was the rewards wouldn’t be half as sweet.
I value the time with my kids more than anything in the world but I also believe it's great for them to see that 'mum' has a life too and that I contribute to society in my case through work and the charities I choose to promote.
I want my kids to see that you can be a good mum and wife and also lead a productive life outside of the home if that's what you wish. I want them to see that feminism isn’t about staying home OR working it’s about having the CHOICE to do what’s right for you. It’s important to me that both my son and two daughters see I can be a good mum and have other things like a career or hobbies, and while I won’t be perfect at it all that’s ok, it’s getting out there and having a go that matters.
What is the one thing you miss from your 'pre-children' life?
Spontaneity. I miss doing things on the spur of the moment. However, we still do a lot of unplanned stuff in the Perkins household and some of our crazy, last minute trips with three kids in tow still have family and shaking their heads.
We've always tried not to be tied down to any rigid child raising routines, the kids where possible just come along for the ride. Luckily for us it mostly works out. Having a large family definitely make it harder to wake up and decide to go camping for the weekend but it can be done if you really want to.
As a mother, what do you think you're pretty good at?
Making an edible dinner when there is nothing in the cupboard, I’m the Queen of unprepared meals but give me a recipe and it’s a disaster. I think I’m a realist and a good communicator.
I want my kids to feel free to say anything (good or bad) to me. I’m also a hit in a shopping mall and usually not a source of embarrassment in front of their friends (though this is sure to change at some stage). My kids know they are the number 1 priority in my life (which they probably work to their advantage at times too.)
And what are you terrible at?
I have no patience but I’m working on it. I can’t iron or housekeep. My home is clean but never tidy unless my mum is visiting and then it’s ship shape and the kids walk in and say “oh Nanna’s here there are socks and undies in my drawers”.
I also over analyse everything and worry way too much – something I’m also working on. I also want to save my kids from all the horrible experiences in life even though my head says they need to go through them to grow and become responsible, kind adults, my heart says I want to corner their bully in the playground when no one else is looking.
Stepping back is a skill I’m still trying to achieve.
Ideally, how do you want your children to describe their childhood days in years to come?
Happy, exciting and fun but with fair family rules and chores that had to done or no pocket money. I hope the remember parents who freely encouraged them to express their own ideas and feelings, within the boundary of respect for common courtesy. I would also love them to appreciate how lucky they were to be surrounded by such a large and supportive extended family taking an interest in their lives.
What are the qualities most important to you that you’d like to pass onto your children?
Respect, compassion, faith, self-confidence and community responsibility. To love and protect family and to value and nurture true friendships. A strong work ethic and to believe that anything is possible with hard work and determination.
What is the nicest thing about motherhood?
Mother’s Day gifts! Just kidding, raising kids with all its trials and tribulations is the greatest gift a woman can ever receive and motherhood will always be my greatest life achievement. It’s cliché but getting a bear hug and “I love you mummy” from any of my children is the purest love in the whole world and one I will never take for granted.
Symantha, finally a question all mums must face - what are you feeding your children for dinner tonight?
Asian cuisine that my (Chinese-born) grandfather taught me how to cook at when I was my children’s age. Steamed rice, Chinese marinated steak and snake beans, Lup Chong (Chinese sausage) and an omelette.
Read further Essential Baby Mum in Profile stories.
Symantha Perkins, a spokesperson for Vicks Cough Syrup and Lozenges Honey Flavour, is more than experienced at juggling career and motherhood and commented on the findings and know that, "No one likes to admit that they send their sick child to school but it seems more parents are being left with no other option."
According to research commissioned by Vicks, 34 percent of working parents experience feelings of guilt when they take time off work to look after their sick children. With 30 percent of families suffering four or more colds a year, there is little parents can do but take it on the chin.
Vicks Cough Syrup and Lozenges Honey Flavour combines the power of effective medicine with the goodness of natural honey.
