Coping through song ... Beyonce and Jay-Z
Beyonce Knowles has spoken about her devastating miscarriage, revealing she had already picked out names for the baby.
Before falling pregnant with her daughter Blue Ivy - who was born in January 2012 - the superstar singer lost a baby. Beyonce has now opened up about the heartbreaking event and her desire to become a mother in her new documentary Life Is But a Dream.
"About two years ago, I was pregnant for the first time. And I heard the heartbeat, which was the most beautiful music I ever heard in my life," she revealed. "I picked out names. I envisioned what my child would look like ... I was feeling very maternal."
Blue Ivy turns one
At the VMA awards on August 28, Beyonce hinted at an announcement on the way in; on stage to perform 'Love on Top', the singer said, "Tonight I want you to stand up on your feet, I want you to feel the love that's growing inside of me." At the end of the song she unbuttoned her jacket and rubbed her belly, grinning, leaving all doubt behind: the then-29-year-old was indeed announcing that she was pregnant.
Beyonce, who is married to hip-hop mogul Jay-Z, went on to explain that something went wrong early into her first pregnancy. The 31-year-old star has recalled the moment she was told she had miscarried.
"I flew back to New York to get my check up - and no heartbeat," she said. "Literally the week before I went to the doctor, everything was fine, but there was no heartbeat."
The tragic loss was first revealed by Jay-Z last year when he wrote a song about their daughter Blue Ivy, which featured the lyrics: "Last time the miscarriage was so tragic/We was afraid you'd disappear/But nah baby you magic."
Beyonce coped with the miscarriage by seeking comfort in her music. She wrote a track about her experience, but hasn't revealed the name of the song.
"I went into the studio and wrote the saddest song I've ever written in my life," she added. "And it was actually the first song I wrote for my album. And it was the best form of therapy for me, because it was the saddest thing I've ever been through."
The star was thrilled when she got pregnant with Blue Ivy. She compared the experiencing of expecting a baby to falling in love and couldn't contain her excitement.
"Being pregnant was very much like falling in love," she said. "You are so open. You are so overjoyed.
"There's no words that can express having a baby growing inside of you, so of course you want to scream it out and tell everyone."