Sex during pregnancy is a topic that needs a great deal of consideration, exploration and debate. If there is one thought in that vacuous mind of his, its sex. He’s a man, he’s capable of thinking about sex during a funeral, a football game or during dinner at your parents house. It’s not like he can control the sex part of his brain...it’s been poorly wired by evolution and no amount of Darwinian evolutionary mumbo jumbo is likely to change that.
If there is ever a time in your relationship where your sexual timetables clash it’s going to be the next twelve months. Like two out of control trains travelling aimlessly on the London underground you may not ever enter the same terminal at the same time unless you get to the control panel and start fiddling with the levers.
I’ve spent way too much time surfing the community boards of pregnancy websites, as an undercover, pregnant woman, trying to get to the bottom of where you girls lie on the issue of sex during pregnancy.
I don’t think there is a definitive answer as to whether women have an increased or decreased sexual appetite through pregnancy. It would seem that there are periods of ‘don’t come near me’ and ‘I’m a raging nymphomaniac’ with relatively calm times in between.
I’m not qualified or stupid enough to try and coach women through their sexuality issues after all I’m no Messiah but I can help you out when it comes to your man. Whether it’s keeping him at bay but happy when you’re not interested or getting him on the job when you are dying for it you can keep your relationship in good shape.
On one online survey I saw 12% of women said they wanted more sex than they were getting while 27% said they’d rather stab their man than have sex with him. Well that’s not entirely true the 27% really said they just had no interest in sex. I’m not sure what happened to the remaining 61% they must have been off having sex or stabbing their husbands.
Let’s explore the complex sexual issues that arise during pregnancy so that you can enjoy your celibacy in peace or orgasm to your heart’s content.
Is he a Can or a Can Not?
We've interviewed hundreds of men around the world for our Being Dad films and it doesn't matter what colour, religion or nationality they are some men can have sex during pregnancy and some can't.
Blokes fit into one of two categories:
- CAN DO - Sex during pregnancy offers no issues and they are bang up for it as always.
- CAN'T DO - Whilst still finding their partner sexy, they lose their mojo.
The big questions about sex and pregnancy is - is your man a can or a can not? What can you do if your sex drives aren’t in synch? How can you penetrate his grey matter to pull in the reigns or re-ignite his mojo?
The Sex talk is a conversation that should ideally take place before you get pregnant or in very early pregnancy. I know it’s a hard thing to discuss and you both probably think that you’ll be fine and everything will stay the same but chances are they won’t.
Sex and intimacy are an important part of relationships and a degradation of the sexual relationship can cause emotional issues in both you and you man unless you can communicate on the subject and work through issues as they arise, or don’t arise as the case may be.
I know you don’t want to hear this and I’ll probably get slammed in book reviews for bringing it up but a surprising amount of men and women are unfaithful during pregnancy because of unresolved sexual issues brought about by conflicting sexual drives. Unfortunately it’s the truth so let’s not ignore it, let’s look at possible problems and resolutions.