A little bit of trust and independence builds our children's self esteem and could help them out of a sticky situation.
A US journalist stirred up a hornet's nest earlier this year when to test her nine-year-old son's self-reliance, she left him in a New York shopping centre and told him to find his own way home.
Equipped with a map, money for the subway and enough change to make a phone call, he made it home, proud of his new-found independence.
Yet we now seem to live in a climate where the threat to safety is perceived to be rising and many parents are reigning kids in.
Gone are the days of outdoors exploration, where you found your own way home from school and at weekends you were only home for dinner.
So, can limiting independence effect a child's capacity to function as a capable adult?
Australian author Daniel Donahoo of the "good enough" approach to parenting manual Idolising Children, says if a child's exploration of the world is restricted, this inhibits their resourcefulness.
The threat to personal safety is often used as a good reason not to let your child walk home from school alone, or ride their bike home from the park at the weekend.
Research reveals however, that crime is not increasing, it's our perception that's changing.
In the Illawarra there has been no significant increase in crime in the past 10 years according to the NSW Bureau of Crime Statistics and Research.
Donahoo, a fellow at public policy think tank OzProspect and a father of two, believes the media is altering our perception of reality.
The focus on paedophilia, missing children and child protection issues has led to a heightened sense of concern surrounding children.
"Statistics show we should have nothing to fear from children playing in the park relevant to their age and stage of development," Donahoo says.
"As parents we're busy and too distanced sometimes from focusing on children and recognising the capacity they have."
In this time-strapped world, he says it's crucial a parent spends time with their child, building trust.
"Spend more time with them and respond to things they're interested in. Instead of dissing popular culture, explore it," he suggests.
Why not bridge the generation gap and do an internet search on their favourite entertainer and find out something they don't know.
"We need to be available to talk to our kids about the world in which they live. It's important for their development," he says.
The best way to support your child is to build their confidence and self-esteem so they have the skills to protect themselves if their personal safety is threatened, Donahoo says.
Teaching her two girls life skills is something Mangerton mum Tracey Kirk-Downey knows will be beneficial for their wellbeing now and into adulthood. Through her role as an early childhood consultant at Wollongong City Council, Kirk-Downey has observed that today's children often lack resilience, which later affects their abilities to solve problems in a competitive workforce and take responsibility for their actions.
To ensure her daughters Claire and Lara have the confidence to sort out problems themselves, she's focused on building their self-esteem and problem-solving skills.
This means the girls know what to do if their mum is running late from picking them up from school, and how to speak to teachers if they're having problems at school, rather than relying on mum to sort it out.
"It's about giving them life skills and not rescuing them," Kirk-Downey says.
"By protecting them from it we're not helping them.
"It's a natural urge to sort it out. You have to fight that urge to do that and talk about how they can sort it out."
She's also working on building a trusting relationship.
Claire and Lara are encouraged to ride their bikes alone to friends' houses in the neighbourhood, and walk with friends to the park or the shops.
"I'm excited that we've got a group of parents who are happy to work on the trust issue," Kirk-Downey explains.
"They (the girls) really enjoy their freedom and being trusted."
When it comes to holidays, trust is lifted to a new level.
The Kirk-Downeys' often camp with several families, and the kids are encouraged to do their own thing, and only bother the parents if there's a bad accident.
"It breaks your heart (that you can't help them). But you give them lots of kisses and cuddles and re-affirmations that they're okay," Kirk-Downey says.
Positive feedback between a parent and child is crucial, a Wollongong-based clinical psychologist specialising in children says.
Northfields Clinic psychologist Mark Donovan says praise is just as important as regular one on one time.
"Otherwise they're in danger of not believing themselves capable and hiding from the world," he says.
While there's no denying the impact a parent has on a child's development, being over-protective doesn't necessarily have a negative impact on them later in life, he says. As they mature into young adulthood the parental influence lessens as peer group, society and school culture takes effect.
Donovan says some parents have a heightened perception of risk, which is communicated to the child, but most parents are only being sensitive to the temperament of an already anxious child.
"It's a fine line that parents have to walk to be supportive and attuned to their child," Donovan says.
"They have to find the balance between letting the child make some of their own mistakes and taking a step back and allowing the child to use their own resources and own coping strategies, and to use them to keep developing them."
While anxiety among children isn't on the increase, Donovan says, there is a need within the community to address anxiety issues.
This week Northfields Clinic started 10-week Cool Kids Program for parents and anxious children aged 8-12 years.
The course is based on the internationally renowned program developed by Macquarie University 15 years ago.
Donovan says while the threat to safety may be the reason why some parents limit their kids from doing their own thing outside, often it's a matter of convenience.
Often parents don't have hours to spend playing with their kids outside, so TV is an easy entertainer.
Donovan recommends spending at least 15 minutes of one on one time with your offspring each day, to nurture the relationship.
Would you try this with your nine-year-old child? What do you think? Discuss this article with Essential Baby members in our forums.
