Deanne and Family - Photo by DECCIA Photography
From a very young age, Erin has wanted to be Angelina Ballerina. Rob & I however, do not have a history of worshipping either Angelina or ballet. In fact, when Erin begged us at age three to let her do ballet we were very scared. To be honest ballet sounded harsh, yet our precious girl was begging us to give her an opportunity and we felt that we owed her that.
Apprehensive and armed only with Rob’s prediction that the theory and discipline of ballet would deter her, we enrolled Erin at the local ballet school. We chose the school purely because it was close to us, allowing us to fit ballet around other commitments.
In her new pristine uniform Erin looked beautiful as I dropped her off for her first lesson. Not permitted to watch, I left her with complete strangers who belonged to a world unknown to us. I was terrified, but when the lesson ended Erin bounced from the studio declaring that ballet was her new found love. We should have known then that Rob’s prediction wasn’t going to come true, but we didn’t.
Erin’s first ballet exam was when we started to understand the seriousness of ballet. It sounded quite traumatic - for the parents. Students had to have the right hair style, the correct uniform in perfect condition with no holes or bobbles in tights and clean shoes. The rules said that students who didn’t meet these conditions would not be permitted to dance.
To Erin the exam was simply another chance to perform. She embraced it with a calmness that was truly admirable. I on the other hand, was a wreck. I cannot begin to describe the all-encompassing fear I felt when I realised that Erin’s ear-length bobbed hair had to be up and her fringe pinned back. I was so scared my daughter would fail ballet because I had sent her with the wrong hairstyle!
In the end the exam really wasn’t difficult for either of us. Erin passed it and was very proud of herself. We were proud of her too. And of me!
With the exam out of the way, the performance was next. At first I felt calm about the performance. After reading the brochure I had just a few questions: Who or what was “Napoli”? How was I meant to get Erin’s short hair up? How was I meant to do Erin’s makeup and why did my beloved four year old even need makeup? When I deliberated over all of this I almost panicked. How on earth was I going to do Erin’s hair and makeup given that I didn’t even know how to do my own? Apart from that minor panic, I felt fine. Until I heard about the 1 tonne structure being imported specifically for the performance.
It was then I realised the gravity of the situation. The fact that the performance was at our major theatre complex and tickets were $40 each probably should have given it away, but the truth is that I have never been very good at recognising connections.
It is fair to say that I was personally traumatised by the first dress rehearsal, and it is only now I can admit that I was putting way too much pressure on myself. After attempting hair and makeup on a four year old who wouldn’t sit still whilst dealing with a catnapping five month old with no help from a husband who was conveniently overseas, I was feeling as fragile as a wet piece of paper. I cried when I left Erin at that rehearsal, partly because I was relieved that we had actually made it there in time but also because when I arrived I was gently told that the hair and makeup were not up to scratch. After the struggle to do it, I felt gutted.
Following the final dress rehearsal Erin provided a very animated, blow-by-blow description of the event. When I thought she had finished her eyes suddenly lit up like an airport runway and she cried “Oh, Mummy! Is it REALLY the same stage that Dorothy the Dinosaur danced on?” At that moment, I knew our little girl was going to be ballet dancing for as long as she wanted to. In her eyes was a passion I had never before seen in a four year old. She wanted to be on stage. Welcome to the lot of the ballet mum.
The ballet performance was fantastic and our little girl was thrilled with being lifted up in the air by the “big boy”. We were so proud. During their three minutes on stage the preschoolers had overcome a fear that many people have trouble overcoming in a lifetime: they had performed on stage in front of a fully populated theatre. Wow.
Erin was aglow with pride that night. Daddy presenting her with pink flowers was the end to her perfect night and she went to sleep with visions of pointe shoes floating in her head. Since that performance Erin has maintained that she WILL go en pointe one day.
The second year of ballet was much the same as the first, with two differences. Firstly, we grew Erin’s hair. Doing her hair is now much easier. Secondly, we were much more relaxed about it.
For Erin’s second performance each child was handed a card at the final dress rehearsal. We jokingly referred to the card as “Mummy’s Report”, since it basically gave an analysis of how well each child had been prepared, what their hair and makeup were like and whether their belongings had been labeled correctly. Some people took great offence to this but my process-driven brain loved it! Finally, in all of the uncertainty of the artistic world, I had something that explained the requirements of the task. I could lose my fear of causing my child to be disallowed from dancing because now I was finding out exactly what I should have done. I was very grateful for the feedback. Incidentally, I scored very well on that report card and was so proud of myself!
This year is Erin’s third year of ballet and she is now attending two lessons per week. We regularly ask her whether she is happy. Her response is always a resounding “yes” so we continue to support her in her dream. I have even volunteered to help with this year’s performance. So who knows? I might be handing out the Mummy Report Cards this year!
Ballet can be time consuming and demanding, but it can be very valuable as well. It really does teach confidence. It also teaches children that if they want to take something on, they have to take everything about it on. Ballet gives children the chance to have a performing dream and establish their own goals, if that is what they want to do. At first glance, the ballet world can seem overwhelming, especially to a Mum like myself who has never before experienced ballet. I can now, however, understand the reasons behind the ballet school rules. The exams are marked by members of the ballet fraternity, often from interstate. The performances are viewed by people from throughout the community, including the ballet community. These events are opportunities for the schools to obtain recognition amongst their peers. They need to develop a good reputation and they are not going to do that with low standards.
In addition to outward appearance, the schools also have an obligation to prepare potential ballet stars for the real world. In that world dancers will have to have perfect hair and makeup, they will have to have supportive families, and they will have to abide by set rules and regulations. By starting in the way they wish to proceed, the schools are ensuring that no one is under any misconception as to what to expect if they do happen to have a budding ballet dancer. Everyone who attends these schools will know what is involved if their child makes it in the world of ballet. I appreciate that. At least this way, we can prepare ourselves if it looks as though Erin is going to pursue her dream of living in Sydney so that she can dance ballet at the Opera House.
To anyone who is looking at becoming a ballet mum, I would say that it can be full-on. Provided that your child enjoys it though, ballet really isn’t as bad as all of the urban legends would allow us to believe. And remember, the majority of adults involved in assisting the children with exams and performances are Mums. And at the end of the day each of those Mums would do whatever they could to ensure that every child was able to participate, even if it meant last minute mercy dashes for brand-new tights or leotards. Why? Because they are Mums, and they understand how important dancing is to each of these precious children.
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