Pregnant woman furious after in-laws 'name' unborn baby - in an obituary

The woman was shocked when her in-laws announced her baby's name - in an obituary.
The woman was shocked when her in-laws announced her baby's name - in an obituary.  Photo: Getty Images

Grief can prompt people to do strange things - but naming another person's unborn baby in an obituary? Surely, that's a first.

Writing into The Slate's advice column, the pregnant woman explained she and her husband were expecting a baby after struggling with infertility for many years.

"Unfortunately, there was a recent death in the family," she wrote. "My in-laws included our unborn little one in the obituary - and they also included a name. The problem is that we haven't named our little one."

Describing the gesture as "bizarre and surprising", the mum-to-be said the name used in the obit was a contender for the middle name but the incident has turned her off the moniker entirely.

"This also rubs me the wrong way because we have been really open with the family that we are strongly considering giving the baby a name from my (non-English) first language," she continued.

"I doubt this was meant to strong-arm us into a name, and more a strange reaction to grief, but the entitlement still irks me."

"How should I respond to this?"

Advice columnist Danny Lavery though it was unlikely the woman's in-laws were trying to force the soo-to-be-parents to choose the name as an obit is not something that people revisit often. 

"Since it was likely the combination of grief and a muddled game of telephone or an honest mistake, not someone's way of trying to force your hand, that resulted in an also-ran middle-name possibility, just feel privately irked for a while and then let it go," he said.

Lavery advised to send out a birth announcement after the birth, to clear up any confusion.

"If you want to drop this name from contention because it irritates you now, that's perfectly fine," he wrote. "Choosing a name means dropping a lot of contenders for relatively low-grade reasons."