New mum furious at mother-in-law's rude comments: 'I flipped out'

The grandma constantly compares her granddaughter to her son, driving her daughter-in-law crazy.
The grandma constantly compares her granddaughter to her son, driving her daughter-in-law crazy. Photo: iStock

Some parents are unable to see faults in their own children. One new mum has learnt that is true for her mother-in-law - and it is painfully annoying. 

The woman posted to Reddit saying her eight-month-old daughter was born looking very similar to her husband, who as a child was very calm and quiet.

Her mother-in-law expected her granddaughter to be the same. So when the baby is restless, or less than perfect, she blames it on the new mum, saying "she probably got it from you".

This comment has been applied to everything from starting solids, throwing tantrums, putting toys in her mouth, and more.

"I've been sucking it up ever since she was born but it kind of hurts," admits the mum. 

"It goes on and on. Countless little 'harmless' comments thrown around like this. It's been building up in my head."

It all came to a head when the baby started grabbing furniture and getting up on her own.

"My mother-in-law went 'my son was walking on his own at this age. You were probably a slow walker and that's probably why she can't do it'.

"I flipped out and told her to stop associating all of my kid's negative traits on me and the positives on my husband. I told her its rude and grabbed my kid and went to my place.

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"My husband thankfully took my side and agreed it was indeed not right, but my phone is now being blown my texts from my in laws saying that I over-reacted and now my mother-in-law is sitting there crying."

Redditors had no sympathy for the mother-in-law, saying her behaviour was inexcusable.

"Let her sit there and cry #narcissist. She's upset she got called out and is now trying to guilt trip you. Information diet and restricted access until she can respect your boundaries," said one. "She is crying because she got called out on it, not because she has any remorse," agreed another.

"Now when the baby cries, (you) can say to your mother-in-law, 'Huh, looks like she gets that from YOU,'" joked one commenter.

The mum had also mentioned that her mother-in-law had been widowed a few years ago and was still struggling with the loss of her husband, which is why it became an "iron-clad rule" to not do anything to upset her lest she spiral into depression.

"(Your) mother-in-law having been widowed a few years ago doesn't change anything. Her family has been indulging her in her horrible behaviours because 'we don't want to make her saaaad'. (She) has been milking this for years. Yes, she probably is still struggling. Struggling doesn't give anyone license to be a manipulative ass," stated one commenter.

One commenter pointed out the long-term side effects of the mother-in-law's behaviour.

"You were right to put a stop to this now. Your daughter is going to be programmed to see you as less-than, as the person to blame when she misbehaves, to see your parents as the inferior grandparents, to see your husband and MIL as the 'good ones'," they said.