I'm caught in a 'mumpetition' with my friend and I'm losing it

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My best friend and I had children within a year of each other. She thinks her child is God's gift to the world, and elevates her over other children, including being passive-aggressive against my child.

She is constantly comparing and humble-bragging, and it is driving me absolutely crazy because she was never like this before we had kids. Now that her kid is starting to read and write and mine is not near that, she finds ways to bring it up all the time. How do I talk to her about this?

ANSWER: I could recommend ways to cut these conversations off at the pass, but if she's your best friend it's worth seriously addressing this - you'll have a long 20 years ahead if it's left unchecked ("Isabella is just struggling so much to pack for her top-tier law school!").

The hard part is conveying your message without her dismissing it as jealousy or an insult to her kid.

Talk about the overall vibe, how you're leery of your discussions taking a competitive bent, and how you wish your conversations felt more relaxed and candid rather than like a performance piece.

Point out examples in the moment. Say how much you love her child, and (not "but"!) that you don't want things to feel competitive. The beauty of the deepest friendships is (ideally) letting go of the posturing.