'Absent dad' insists on changing five-month-old's name: 'He doesn't like it'

The man is demanding that they change the baby's name.
The man is demanding that they change the baby's name. Photo: Getty Images

Finding your groove as a new parent can be hard work - add a troubled relationship with your partner in to the mix and it becomes an extremely stressful situation. But one new mum, who has a five-month-old daughter, is trying to navigate a particularly difficult situation with her ex as she adapts to life with a baby.

Posting on Reddit, the woman explained the father of her child left her when she was pregnant but has recently decided he wants to be a part of his daughter's life. However he is demanding the baby's name be changed - because he doesn't like it.

The woman explained she has a long history with her ex. They were engaged and living together and planning on having kids after the wedding, which was unfortunately delayed.

"I found out I was pregnant shortly after," she said. When she told him the news he "freaked out", telling her it was all happening too fast and he needed some time to think everything over. He then moved out, blocked her calls and did not answer any attempted contact for 10 months.

The woman had her child without her ex there, choosing the name 'Elizabeth Laura Smith', explaining Elizabeth reminded her of her favourite book character and Laura was after her grandmother. Now. five months later, her ex has decided he wants to be apart of their daughter's life and is unhappy with the baby's name.

 "He said he waited this long because he wasn't sure how far along I was when we were together, but he figured the baby had to have been born by now," she said.

The new dad told his ex he "plans to sort out custody" - and that he hates their daughter's name.

The woman's ex left when he found out she was pregnant.

 Photo: Getty Images

"He thinks it sounds old and stuffy," the upset mum wrote. "He says that as his mother "Mary" has recently (November 2019) passed away, he wants to name our daughter Mary.


"He says Mary must be the first name and that I can have either Elizabeth or Laura as the middle name."

The woman firmly told him she would not change her name.

"I hate the name Mary. I hate how it sounds, both alone and with "Elizabeth/Laura Smith" on the end of it. Plus I didn't like his mother."

But the woman's ex is determined, telling her she needed to learn to compromise in order 'co-parent successfully' and that it was 'unfair' that she got to choose both the first and middle name of their daughter.

"I said that if he hadn't blocked me for the better part of a year, he'd have been able to say all of this when she was born," the woman wrote.

And other redditers agreed. 

"If he'd wanted input into what OP named the baby, he could have not walked out the minute he found out she was pregnant and blocked her for almost a year," wrote one person.

"It's not about you being unwilling to comprise, he missed out on his chance to name his daughter because he was too afraid/unprepared to be there."