Rose Byrne glows as she shows off her growing baby bump!
Kim Kardashian flaunts her growing bump in a skin tight dress!
If there are any headlines that make me want to fling a magazine against the wall (or slam down my computer) it is those. 'Celebrity X shows off baby bump!' 'Celebrity Y flaunts growing bump!'
I mean, seriously, how can anyone flaunt a baby bump? Flaunting involves a choice, a deliberate action. Was there ever even a viable alternative?
"What do you think?" they asked their stylist last week. "Does my bump go with this outfit?"
"Nah, leave the bump off today. It really throws off the symmetry of that dress."
But then today, with the skin tight dress, the stylist approved. "Oh, the baby bump really works with this colour! Let's slip it on and totally flaunt this thing!"
Except that doesn't happen at all, because - you guessed it – the bump is with them all the time! Yes, news flash, a baby bump is not detachable, nor is it even technically a 'bump', it is simply part of a pregnant woman's body. You know, like an arm or a leg. Having a pregnant belly doesn't mean you're 'showing it off' or 'flaunting it'. It is just THERE.
Now, obviously, you can choose to 'show off' certain body parts in certain outfits. I guess it's reasonable to suggest that a woman is 'showing off her great legs' in a super short dress with long sleeves. But these pregnant women aren't wearing clothes with cut-out belly holes. They're not walking around in outfits with arrows pointing towards their navel. They are simply wearing clothes, regular outfits, with a pregnant tummy underneath.
The only reason they are 'flaunting it' is because it is there.
And really, that makes as much sense as flaunting any other part of the body which just happens to be attached to the person.
George Clooney shows off left knee in stunning Armani ensemble!
David Beckham shows off pinkie finger in skin tight gloves!
It's ridiculous, of course. Their body parts are just there.
And really, this is all part of the fetishizing of pregnant women in our society. A pregnant women is supposed to look glamorous and sexy and gorgeous, rocking skin tight clothes and smooth, glowing skin. A pregnant woman is supposed to project confidence, 'flaunting' her pregnancy (sorry, 'growing bump') and radiating delight.
But of course, not all pregnant women feel confident or radiant. Pregnancy comes with varicose veins and haemorrhoids and stretch marks and blotchy skin and physical symptoms not necessarily aligned with 'flaunting' anything. And the pressure the media heaps on with these images just make the average pregnant woman feel inadequate.
And don't even get me started on the new celebrity mothers 'showing off her post baby body' or the larger celebrity 'flaunting her curves'. Unless they can leave parts of their bodies at home, what they are doing is simply 'existing'.
So please, magazines, stop with the baby bump nonsense. Or, alternatively, refer to men as 'flaunting' their noses or chins or calves. Then we'll all be playing the same game.
And maybe I'll stop throwing magazines against the wall.