I'm done having babies but I still have intense pregnancy dreams

Photo: Alamy
Photo: Alamy 

I always wanted three children, so while the third came along later than intended, I knew I was done as soon as he arrived.

I got what I wanted; my gorgeous, vibrant third child, who is about to celebrate his fifth birthday. With the other two entering adolescence, he is our breath of fresh air and he reminds us to keep laughing every day. But I am totally done having babies.

So what's with all the pregnancy dreams?

Persistent and regular, they have taken many forms since my third was born, from pleasant dreams to full-blown nightmares, and even nightmares masquerading as dreams. And they mostly happen in the morning when the sun is rising and I'm coming out of a deep sleep. That's a solid five years of pregnancy dreams when I don't want more children.

I decided to find out what's going on.

Martina Kocian is a Dream Therapist and has been interpreting and analysing the dreams of her clients at The Dream Garden for a decade. She told Essential Baby that pregnancy dreams are extremely common in women, men and even older people who may be retiring and finding new hobbies.

She says, "Dreams about pregnancy signify new potential, new beginnings and projects. The catalyst might be a new home, new relationship or a new friend." She adds, "Dreams symbolise what's going in our waking lives, processing emotions, and helping us work through them while we aren't conscious."

For those who are pregnant and experiencing pregnancy dreams, Martina says that they can often be frequent and evolve from positive to negative, and this is completely normal.

"At the beginning of pregnancy, the dreams are often positive, helping the mother to bond and feel connected to her growing baby through role play," she says.

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"By the end of the pregnancy she may be experiencing some less positive dreams or even nightmares, as her subconscious plays out anxieties around birth, the health of the baby and adjusting to a new way of life." She adds that this is one way of processing and reducing anxiety in waking hours.

My particular case though, Martina says is a little less common. "It's not as usual to experience persistent nightmares or negative pregnancy dreams for years after the last child is born and no further children are intended," she explains.

"It's a sign the subconscious has latched on to pregnancy as a symbol for a bigger issue than the literal interpretation of simply not wanting to be pregnant again. It would require a deeper examination of the factors affecting your life since having the last child."

Ok, so it's therapy for me, but most people can rest assured that pregnancy dreams, whatever your gender, age or child bearing intentions, are completely normal.

Dreams talk to us in multi-dimensional symbols and they don't always make sense. So if you have a pregnancy dream, look at what's new in your life, or your hopes for change, and you'll likely have an explanation.