hi all i have a 4yr old and he is a different boy when people are over, when at other poeples house and is excellent at preschool. even when going shopping people see him as a checky little boy, he listens to me and is great to go shopping with.

my main issue with my child is he hates to pick up his toys after playing with them. i'll ask him to pick them up and he'll say i need a drink 1st, then needs to go toilet,etc, excuesses after another.

he gets so so mad about it?

is he the only child that hates to pick up toys as in-laws kids- well they say 'they pick up after themselves' but when i see them my child is alot more maturer then theres.. are they just saying this so it looks like there kids are angels? or even to make me look like i have failed with my kid, because if that is the case it is working!!. i feel like my child is the only kid that wont listern!! ERRRR

any advice???

If this is the only thing he won't do and he's otherwise an angel - ummmm, don't you think it's time to give the poor kid a break? He's only 4. Of COURSE he would rather play with the toys than pick them up. And of course it seems unfair to him that he has to pick up toys for his sister also. He's only 4! And if he WILL pack up when you supervise, then what's the issue?

I am all for discipline, but I think 4-5 is way to young to expect kids to do unsupervised chores correctly by themselves. Your child is naughty or defiant, he's just being his age. And this age should be about you instilling good habits, not him being able to act like a grown up and do things by himself.

If you pack up regularly, he will learn that it's something that needs to be done. Get down on the floor, make a game of it (let's see who can put x number of toys away first?) and stop fighting a battle he is not old enough for you to win.

thanks for your honest responce, yes i do fine- ok he is only 4 and for me to be pushing him picking up toys.. but i don't understand why it is such an issue. when we are at someone else place he will be the 1st kid to put toys away, even if he hasn't touched them!

making it a game will give that a try!- thanks.

The only thing that has worked well for me is making it a game - so "let's each put away 6 toys and see who can do it the fastest" or put the timer on for 2 minutes and see if we can put all the toys away before it goes off. Or be very specific "Ok, you put all the Lego away, I'll do the puzzles and when we've finished we'll have afternoon tea" etc. "Pack away your toys" is way too vague and my kids (3 and 6) would not do it either. Putting away toys is one of the things my kids can earn stickers for too which they love.

In terms of threats, don't threaten to throw away anything if you know you won't (like a DS). I have threatened to put things on the fridge and do (for a few days) but I would never throw out good toys so I don't threaten to. Kids know when you're only bluffing.

have to admit kids are smart, and that so true- best to hide it... thanks