Both mine and Dh's family have a catholic background. So we were both raised catholic, however have been questioning our faith for a very long time. Personally for me, it been since I was about 14.

About 4 years ago, DH started studying with a lovely JW who came to our door. Since then we have moved twice, however he has keep studying and going to Kingdom Halls. In the beginning I wasnt fully ready to commit due to coming to terms with a few things in my past and my brothers death. I did however tell DH that after listening to months and months of study that I was happy for the kids to learn if they wanted to.

Fast forward to now, and we are happy with our decision and feel its right for our family. However, we have run into a lot of problems when it come to our extended family. We are getting quite a few "its not fair on the kids" arguements due to not celebrating christmas and easter like everyone else.

So I guess what I am asking is, for those of you who have different religious values to your families....do you cop any flak because of it? How do you deal with it?

Im not in your situation but I think you should do what you truly believe is right. The only thing I would suggest is that you/your dh, study first the faith you are leaving(from the source) with the same commitment he has studied the one you are entering. If he/you can do that and still know that your decision is the right one then you will be able to explain it more fully to your family.

I get the occasional bit of flack. I guess I try to remember that integrity is the most precious thing I have; without it I'd end up a puppet to my extended family's agendas, and that wouldn't be good for me, them, or anyone else! And I do wonder whether your family's objection is really based on their religious values, or whether they feel you are rejecting them as people.

I guess one of my questions, based on your post, would be how do your kids feel? If your family are saying it's not fair on them...is that something with which the kids would agree, or do they feel the sacrifice is worth it for what they're committing to? Are they old enough to have that level of understanding?

I am Pagan and my family are Atheists. To be honest I don't think they even know what religion I am because it doesn't really affect them. I do however tend to celebrate some of the Pagan festivals on different days purely because my parents (and society) celebrate them on a different day ie Yule on Christmas Day, Ostara at Easter, Samhain on 31st October. It's just easier and to me part of the celebrating is in the sharing.

In your situation though it's a tough one. I personally wouldn't celebrate as such but let the Grandparents give a present if they wanted purely because I don't want to choose my child's religion so I am open to them celebrating other religions/holidays with other people.

Much like Xena we tend to celebrate Pagan holidays on the days society generally does, and no one has really asked about our religious leanings so we haven't had any reaction. I agree that perhaps not shunning other people's faiths/beliefs with regard to your children, I like to think they will grow up to make that decision on their own.

To be honest I probably haven't been forthcoming with my beliefs because I think it's a personal thing and I'd just rather not deal with it

i am a pathetic catholic and my hubby is a serious atheist. we respect each other's beliefs and often have some fantastic discussions about it all. we have also both respected each other's wishes not to force our religious ideas upon our children and to stay as neutral as possible.

as for our kids, we tell them that everyone has different about opinions about religion and god and what they believe happens when they die. we also reinforce that no one is allowed to force their religious opinions on anyone else if that person doesn't want it. our kids currently go to muslim scripture because they want to find out about iti all. we consider ourselves good examples of relgious tolerance given our vastly different stances on god.

this easter i have read the bible stories of what happened to jesus during the crucifixion, his resurrection and many many stories of easter bunnies and chocolate eggs. i read them in the same way i would read a hairy maclary story or a doctor suess one.

Hi Fab5

I was was in your situation a few years back when I started studding and decided to become one of Jehovah witnesses and wanted my family to be brought up that way I coped a lot of flack ,remember it's all about choices and what works for your family maybe ask them what they would like to do at that time of year

some of my family and DH's family felt that the girls were missing out on Christmas and Easter so we asked them what they would like to do they asked us if they could give them presents we compromised and now get together at the the beginning of the Christmas school holidays and exchange gifts and also get together on boxing day for a family lunch,when the girls were younger my mum and brother use to buy them their favourite chocolate at Easter so they wouldn't miss out on chocolate, now that they live interstate they just send money.