Hi everyone. First I just want to introduce myself as Im new here. My name is Lisa and I'm due any day now with non identical twin girls. I also have a three year old daughter Jessica at home. I have so many questions and I just dont know what to do. Firstly I am absolutely petrified how Im gonna cope. That would be my main question 1. How will I cope? Will I be able to cope? 2. When it comes to putting the babies down to bed do I put them in the same cot or do I put them down separately. I have heard many stories but I just dont know. 3. Feeding the babies and routines. What do I do. Ididnt have a strict routine when my daughter was a baby but Ive been told that you have to be very organised and the babies in a strict routine but how do you do it with two at the same time.
I know I probably sound like I;m in a panic or really worried but I have read books to find out answers but sometimes things you read dont go to plan or work and can be very confusing. Im so sorry If I sound like an emotional wreck but it would be so nice to be able to get ideas and advice off other mums who have twins. Thankyou so much for reading this I really appreciate your help and to help me calm down a bit. Thanks heaps.

Love Lisa

hi there

don't panic, i don't think anything quite prepares you at first but the best thing that we did was ring a midwife that could come and do home visits and she helped get us in a routine with settling, breastfeeding and just general stuff like that.

i can't tell you how much that changed everything as the first 2 weeks were really out of control then after nicole came it just all clicked.

my boys are 3 months old and i always do everything together, i always feed them at the same time, change there nappy at the same time so they are always in the same routine.

the other great thing we did was hired the hospital cribs so we could wheel them around of a night, we have only just gone to big cots only 2 weeks ago.

anyway you will be fine, make sure your family and friends can help to give you a break as well

take care

tanya
noah & caleb 3/8/05

Hello Lisa , i also have non identical girls now 7 months . I also have 6 other children & most days i cope fine . My husband works long hours so i am home with all the kids . I have 4 at school & 4 at home with me on th weekdays . I think to cope & run a home you need to be organized . The first few weeks will not be easy , i was lucky i had my partner home for 4 weeks after the birth . Its up to you if you want the babies to sleep together , you can do this by putting the babies side by side in a cot . This would only be ok for the frist few months as i can tell you that babies move there arms around a lot & they hit each other a lot !!
As for a routine , the hospital set mine & it was feed the babies every 3 hours as my girls were small , change baby , feed , then half an hour wake the other baby up & feed . This worked for me !!
Your questions & fears are just the same as every other twin mum !! you will cope you will be fine & it will all fall into place , although at times you will think not !! I hope all goes well for the birth of your babies . Think of me coping with eight kids & i can cope !!

Hi Lisa

Welcome and congratulations on the impending birth of your twins! I am sure that everyone on this forum has felt unsure/panicked at one point or another about how to manage- so you are not alone :-)

Although I only have my twins, I am sure you will be fine with your toddler and the bubs at home. There are many here who have done so- and many others who cope with lots more. I am sure 'mumtomany' has inspired you! You will find your own groove eventually, but don't be surprised when there are times that you feel like you just can't cope- we have all been there.

It is up to you how you want to sleep your bubs. I intended to sleep mine separately in their cots from the beginning. I found that they would not settle in the 'wildnerness' of their cots initially, so they slept in their rockers for six weeks! They then went into a cot together for a little while and have now been in their own cots for about 1 month.

I think it is probably true that you need a routine with twins- for your own sanity! (esp with a toddler at home). I always feed, change, play, sleep together (or feed one straight after the other). I let one 'take the lead' so to speak- so if Hayden wakes for a feed, he will get fed, then I wake Jackson to feed (9 times out of 10 he will have woken himself anyway). If they wake at the same time I feed them together.

One thing I am learning (and it is hard as I am one who loves structure and order!) is that it is good top have routines which are flexible if need be. Have a plan, but be prepared to change it a little (or alot) if things don't work out as expected. The other thing I find hard is the amount of conflicting or wishy washy advice you get. It is so hard when you are sleep deprived to think straight, so try to find a select few people who you trust and who know your plans (for feeding, etc)- that you can turn to for support.

Overall though, I have found being a mum to twins a beautiful and amazing experience so far. I am sure you will too :-)

All the best Lisa
Lindy

Hi Lisa
Your post brought back memories. I recall the morning before I was due to go to hospital to be induced to have my twin babies. I was sitting with my almost 3 yo daughter having breakfast. It was my favourite time of day with her, and so peacful. I remember sitting there with tears in my eyes, thinking, am I ever going to have a nice peaceful time like this with my daughter again?

My sons are now 18 months, and what an 18 months it's been. Lots of tought times, sure, but it has been wonderful in many ways.

I decided to do the routine thing, and was as structured as I could be from the very beginning - though routines were a bit all over the place for the first three months. When in hospital I made sure I got the hang of tandem feeding (I borrowed a cushion from the local MBA). From the beginning, the boys have done everything at the same time. I persevered at getting the boys to sleep at the same time, because that meant I could spend more time with my daughter.

I became quite good at swallowing my pride and accepting help from others, and working out what tasks were the easiest to delegate when help was available. I have also become more and more desensitized to a messy house.

I slept the boys in one cot from the beginning, until they were about 10 weeks old, but later heard this can be a sids risk (same as having a teddy in the cot with a singleton). The only reason I had them side by side in the cot was so that I could scoop my darling sweet boys up together when I was getting them for a feed. I can't see that it would have made any difference to their sleeping to be together or in separate cots. The main thing is to be absolutely sure they are in separate cots well before they are rolling.

If you're like me, you'll find that your worst fears are never realised, and that althought there are some rather challenging bits to having three young kids, the benefits definately outweigh the negatives. My daughter absolutely loves her brothers. She loves to play with them. She also loves to get away into her bedroom at times, which is her exclisive domain, and the boys are never allowed in there.

All the best.
Warm regards
Mim

firstly I want to say CONGRATULATIONS...... how far are you?
You through me straight back to the day before I was induced. I can totally relate to your sudden urgency to know and understand anything and everything. I read alot of books and then I felt all of a sudden I just couldn't remember anything and I didn't think I would cope. But guess what?!?!?!.... You will cope and you will also be fantastic at it.
Times are not always easy that's for sure but as long as you remember in the first few months is all about routine... routine ...routine... You really need one! you need to find what you think fits best in your family with your toddler as well.
twinfeeding... is a godsend. Get yourself a twinfeeding pillow. to feed both at the same time will free you up just that little bit more and it will honestly give you that bit of extra sanity. IYKWIM. In other words won't make you feel like a jersey cow.
try and get as much home help as you can. if you don't have help from your family you can ring the red cross and they will be more than willing to come and help you. I was wanting to be so independant but seriously ASK FOR HELP... even if it means that you can sleep for an hour when the babies are sleeping and someone can watch over Jessica for you. you need rest to help with your milk supply which i am sure you know from your first pregnancy!.
I had my girls sleep in the same cot for about the first three months. I had them in my room which was so much easier for night feeds. My DF would help me to set up the pillow and the girls because at the start it is a bit tricky til you get the hang of it. We seperated the girls once they started to move around a bit too much.

I hope this helps a bit but just remember the first three months is by far the hardest as you are all trying to work out a routine. Just persist with what you think is right and eventually it will all of a sudden just happen.
you will be fine and you will definately cope. God only blessed those with multiples who he believed would cope... and that's you!!!!
goodluck to you and the arrival of your gorgeous twin girls. PLease keep in touch and can't wait to meet your new bundles of joy.
Jodi



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Hi Lisa,

Welcome to EB and congratulations on your pregnancy I think you have probably found one of the best things you can have access to right here, I found everyone on this site just so wonderful and helpful It is not often here that you ask something and no-one knows an answer.

We can all relate to how you are feeling and all I can say is it does work .... eventually There will be great times and hard times which I am sure you had with your daughter as well I had lots of support from my partner and my mum which was fantastic, I wish now that I hadn't been so proud and had asked for more help:)

I slept my twins mostly separately but sometimes when I was at mums they shared a cot but I put them so their feet were touching the ends of the cot and their heads were in the middle. I found if I put them side by side they woke each other up. I kept them fairly much in the same routine ( and still do ) with sleeping and feeding.

If you can BF do so as I can't imagine having to make up bottles as well - I admire those mums that do, I think they have much more work to cope with.

But in saying all of this the best advise I can give you is try not to stress - that was my personal goal in having the twins and I found it so helpful - If I was starting to stress I would take a deep breath and start again, it's hard sometimes with two crying babies but it did help me.

So Lisa good luck and I hope to see you on the boards here again

Vanessa



TTC #1 for 6 years
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Hi everyone
Thankyou so much for your wonderful kind words and advice. Ive started to calm down now and just let things happen when it does. I guess I felt exactly the same way when my daughter was born, never been a mum before at least I have an idea on what is due to come just with two rather than one.
I am currently 36 weeks and 4 days. I had a scan done last week to make sure everything is ok but apparently the scan showed that the bubs are dropping in weight and there growth has slowed down by quite a bit. I did have a caesar booked for the 25th November when I will be 38 weeks but the doctor is concerned now and wants me to have them earlier so probably this wednesday.
Anyway thankyou so much for lovely advice, you are all an inspiration to me and just shows that if others can do it then I can to. Thanks heaps.
Love Lisa

Hi Lisa
I just want to say if it is this Wednesday....



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Hi Lisa
Congratulations! Dont panic too much even though its totally natural - fear of the unknown. Enjoy the last moments of your pregnancy.

I only have my twins who are nearly five months old and as with any pregnancy and any babies each situation would be different.

I always do everything together feeding, bathing etc otherwise I found there would be no time for anything else. I tried feeding them separately eg let one sleep if they were but felt like you were doing the same thing over and over and things got out of control a bit - routine is essential. It was too tiring and too hard that way. You will find they will fall into the same routine slowly all by themselves. For instance I was having a laugh yesterday when I was feeding them in their rockers (I have always bottle fed - I tried BF but got sick in hospital, I think it was a blessing in disguise, it is more work preparing bottles eg but I can leave them with my husband or mother when I have to run out for 5 min or have a relaxing long shower even when it happens to be feeding time) then when they finished eating my little girl starting going red in the face - she started pooing then I turned my head and looked at my little boy and he was also going red in the face, doing the same thing. You'll be suprised how many things are done together it is beautiful. Also at bath time I leave them in the same cot for a while and when I walk in the room I always find them holding hands and looking at eachother.

I have also always slept the twins in separate cots (never used a bassinet) and I have found it this to be no problem at all.

Remember there is a bit more work but double the joy indeed!!! Nothing annoys me more when I walk into the shops and people say "double trouble". True ignorance because they dont know the true double joy you have.

If you ever want to talk again I regularly check the site and sometimes ask questions as well - a great help.

Finally do what works for you!!!.

Good luck.

Hi Lisa,
Congratulations and Good luck for tomorrow although by the time you read this you may have your beautiful babies already!
I can relate totally to what you are feeling. My twins are 2 months old today and our little boy will be 2 at the end of thr month. My pregnancy was an emotional rollercoaster of excitement and panic about how to manage the logistics of twins and a toddler and the emotional impact it would have on our son.
I'm only 2 months into it and some times it feels really tough but more and more I feel like we are getting it together and getting into some kind of normal life.
I certainly don't have the same indulgent times I had with the first baby and i found the bonding process completely different but it is very special in its own way. I find twins more of a challenge emotionally than physically or logistically. Sometimes it feels that you are never giving anyone enough of what they need and the work is certainly constant but I love my little family and I wouldn't trade a second of what we've been through. Day by day Kobe is building a relationship with the babies and seeing him holding a hand or talking to them when he doesn't know I'm looking swells my heart with pride and happiness.
We try and spend regular one on one time with Kobe and to try and make him feel important. We don't drop what we're doing with him when one of the babies cries (depending on the circumstances of course) and explain that they have to take a turn and wait for him and vice versa when doing an activity with a baby. On the whole he has handled it really well, it has been an upheaval and sometimes we probably accept more responsibility than we should for some behavioural issues that could just as easily be attributed to the terrible twos.
Kobe goes to daycare 2 days a week, which is great but this was also one of my biggest fears during pregnancy as getting him there means getting us all there. Get everyone into car seats, out of car seats, into the pram into the daycare centre, twins back in the car and out again when home. While it is an effort it just becomes part of your day and a good way to start gaining confidence to getting out in general. When it comes down to it you just have to get in there adn do it becasue you don't have a choice and every day it gets easier. I honestly thought that I wouldn't go anywhere for the first three to six months but we go out a lot. Somedays when all three children are unsettled and whining and I just want to cry, it seems so daunting but it is great for us all to pack up and meet friends at the park, go to the shops or even a walk. (Luckily Kobe loves his toddler seat, it makes him feel important to sit so high). These outings no matter hwo small make me feel better, like I've achieved something and certainly increases my confidence in being a mother of three.
By nature I'm pretty organised and independent and that has been the biggest learning curve with twins, being able to ask for help. My family, friends and my mothers group have been amazingly supportive and helpful and this experience has made me appreciate them all in ways I couldn't before. There is also a volunteer sevice available for supporting families with multiples that is federally funded and they contacted me via our early childhood centre and the family care cottage, all of who have proactively supported me with home visits and referrals etc. The volunteers can babysit or help you mind children or do the groceries, help you spend one on one time with the children etc for a few hours a week. We decided that another family could use the help more than us but I can find out the name and how to contact them if you would like?
I'm not sure that we're a model of routine as we found that trying to synchronise India and Jack's sleeping and eating didn't work at all and gave up waking them at night at about 5 weeks which was great as Jack was sleeping through from 8pm to 5 or 6 am from 7 weeks while India still wakes up once and occasionally twice a night. There are times when I think our days need to be more routine but to be honest they are only now beginning to spend any time awake that is not engaged in eating. I'm not really sure how to go about determining what that routine should be so I will probably spend some time with our local family care cottage for some ideas. I think yo should do what works for you and don't be afraid to question how things are working for the whole family. Much like with your first baby you will find that just when you've got it figured out, one or all of them will go and change on you.
This was a much longer post than I'd planned but how you are feeling is still so fresh for me I had to reply. You will find the people here a great help.
Good luck
Elke