My beautiful baby boy is 2 months old. In utero I always called him David, but we ended up naming him Matthew David. Even in the hospital I worried we had made the wrong decision, but after it was announced I didn't want to change it. But the feeling hasn't gone away with time and I still think we should have named him David Matthew, so now we are considering legally changing it.

Has anyone done this?

My DH is very happy to change it but wants it done legally. I would rather just call him David, but keep his name legally Matthew David. However DH's name is actually his second name and he hates continually having to explain it.

I am just so embarrased, and hate how people are all going to talk if we go ahead. I am so worried about what people will say that my anxiety over that is making me consider not doing it.

If you did change your baby's name (or know someone who did) how did people react? What would you do?

My Grandmother, Uncle, Brother & FIL were/are all known by their middle names. On official documents and official occasions, their full names were/are used, but in day-today interactions, their middle names. More to do with being named after one of their living parents that dislike of the name though.

We changed the spelling of DS1's first name and the whole middle name of DS2 both within a week of their births. I was neither fussed at any comments nr concerned about opinions as at the end of the day, they are OUR babies/children. I simply said (if anyone asked) that once we saw the names in the email announcements we sent out and then on the cards we received, the names / spelling simply didn't 'sit' right with us.

Your little one is only 8 weeks old. Best to do it now than always have that niggly regret

I know two people who legally "flipped" the order of their names...as young teens (with parental support of course). One was a girl named April Kelly Surname. She was born in January (conceived in April), and as soon as she figured out the connection, she didn't want to be called April. Her name is now Kelly April Surname -- she changed it just as she was starting high school.

It's a much easier process to do when a child is very young, before he/she has his/her own set of friends et al.

My father also goes by his middle name and thinks it's a total pain-in-the-butt to always have to explain (though he was too lazy to make the official change! )

Go for it!

Go for it. To hell with people who talk!

I'd tell white lie to family / friends.

You were tired when you filled out the Births Deaths & Marriages form and wrote the babies name as David Matthew instead of Matthew David. Or blame Births, D & M.

And that because you loved both names and it was such a hard decision anyway combined with the issues your DH has been through with his name, you have decided to stick with David, hey he is only 8 weeks old, not like he will remember but will be a good story down the track.

Change it legally!

Nearly two years ago my then 3.5 year old decided she wanted to be known by her middle. I thought it was going to be a passing phase but it turned out not to be. So strong was her decision that family and friends began to comply and she became known by her middle name. This year she started school... Apparently it is a recent legal requirement that all school children be known by their legal first name - the name they were registered with and is on their birth certificate. The school would not/could not refer to my DD by her middle name unless we changed it to become her christian name by deed poll. After some deliberation (it took me a while to get my head around...) we did the paper work and submitted the paper work and she is now officially the name she wishes to be known by. I think you might hit the same brick wall when your DS starts school. Years of calling him by his middle name, the only name he'll probably know and then, when he begins school having him known by his legal christian name Matthew. Confusing!!!

I found it quite a strange process and struggled with it somewhat in the beginning but it is definitely for the best. I could see no good reason for it not to happen and it sounds like there is no good reason for it not to happen in your case... It is a lot of paper work but worth it in the end!

Hope that makes sense and is of some use.

N

Everyone will ALWAYS have an opinion and we all know how many idiots there are roaming this earth, so I say.. always do what YOU want to do. No one else matters and your baby is so young. This will soon be long forgotten by everyone.

Do it now, its not going to get any easier. I wouldn't think anything if someone I knew changed their baby's name at 8 weeks.

I would just say that we were torn between the two names but now that he is here and you are getting to know him you feel he is definitely a David.

Change it

He is still so young, people will get used to it, and he won't know any different really.

Do what you want, who cares what people think?

I legally changed my DS1's name a few months after his birth. He was Jackson Michael Shelby John (surname) and the Jackson Michael part, well, it was just plain silly ( michael jackson ) his middle name came from his bio dad that shot through soon after, so I just dropped the michael completely from his name

I would change it. He is young & if people talk about it, well that's very sad for them! I don't think it's a big deal at all (as far as people talking).

Go for it!

Definately change it if it makes you happier! We had exactly the same thing with DS2 although didn't have a name officially documented. We were torn between two names. We named him one at about six weeks and changed it a few weeks later and have been happy with our decision.

Because of the indecisiveness we didn't fill out the paperwork until around two months.

People looked at us like we were crazy when we named him but were calling him by his middle name (our ideal choice) so we just changed to make things easier iykwim.

I hate DS1's mn and would love to change it but he was horrified when I suggested it. Looks like it staying Even DD refuses to have her name shortened and she's only 2!

Anyway, if you are going to do it then do it now and tell people of the new name but hold off on the paperwork until you are 100% sure.

Who really cares what people think (although I understand) - you will be using his name every day!

I would change it now, as it would be easier when they are younger rather than older. It is good that you both agree to changing it, it would be harder to change if both of you didn't agree.

Goodluck.

I know someone that changed her boys name after 9 months. To be honest no one really cared. There were a few raised eyebrows with thoughts of WTF? but that was only the initial reaction. As far as I'm concerned most people don't actually care what your child is called. It might take a while for those close to you to remember to use the first name or those that you don't see often might forget that you changed it but within 6 months no one will even remember.

Just change it - people will get used to it so fast, they'll forget it was ever any other way.

Alexander's 8 and I wish I could change his middle name.

I'd change it. He is too young to notice and everyone else will forget you even did it over time.

A previous neighbour changed her DD 3's name when she was about 6 months old. She decided her original name, whilst very pretty, was becoming too popular so changed it to one that I can't even remember.

Just do it. You don't even have to tell people. Just tell them that your son will now be known by the name David. Eventually they will forget that he ever had the first name Matthew. Also it is not as if anyone but you will be filling out official forms for him so why do they need to know?

A girl I went to high school with legally changed her name in about Year 10. Her parents were from Europe and had called her Fanny.

I'm with the mob on this one, go for it. Do it sooner rather than later it will become such a non-event you'll wonder why you were worried in the first place.

rebecca - yep i'd do it. If thats the way you truly feel and you would prefer david - do it and do it now before you know it a year will have passed and you'll still be thinking about it......

I think you should do it now rather than later. People will talk but they won't talk forever and they will get over it soon. It's about you and your DH's feeling that matter.

Change it. It sounds like you will regret it otherwise.

Am I the only one that thought this topic was going to be about Bodie Butter?

OP I would change the name if it will make you happy. Both the names are great strong names. I think people will think it's more strange if you called him by his second name all the time. Plus you would constantly be explaining why. If you change it now in another two months no one will even give it a second thought.

My MIL changed DH's name at 7 months! His original name was awful - his dad chose it and it sounded more like a joke than a real name. 30 years on, who cares? Go ahead if it's what you want.

What would I do? I would stick with Mathew David. He has the option later on of using David/Dave if he wants.

Mathew/Matt is so so much nicer.

I changed dd2's name when she was three months old. I just sent out an email and photos with her new name on it.

If anyone had a problem with it I don't know. No one said anything to my face.

I think the PP has the right suggestion. Just send an email with a cute recent picture of the baby attached, saying that after some thought your family has decided that your son's name will be David Matthew, instead of Matthew David and thanks for all the well wishes you have received since his birth.

People can have their little 10 minute gossip over their afternoon tea then by the time you see them it's no big deal.

I went to school with a girl named 'Randy' - not a nickname. She changed it to Mandy in Year 7.

I'd change it OP - its just swapping the two around, not like you have changed your mind on the whole thing and decided you'd prefer to call him Wolfgang Zanzibar instead. Nobody will bat an eyelid

Go for it! He'll never know when he grows up and will spare him any identity issues from the name confusion.
Can't believe people would gossip - it's only a minor switch.

Check with BD&M - I have a feeling you can "legally" change your baby's name in the first 12 months without too much paperwork being required.

Change it! Before he is 12 months old I think it's free to do so...I think!?

Just do it. You'll regret it if you don't.

That's odd. My DS has quite a few kids in his class that are called 'western' names they (or family) have chosen rather than there true first name which can be really hard for others to pronounce. The only way I found out aout it was due to the school photos. The school photos have their correct first name and my DS was really confused as they were different to the names they are known by at school that they and the teachers, kids themselves and their parents use.

I say change it.

I've known another man who was known as David even though it was his middle name. His view was that his parents should have named him what they wanted to call him.

i would definitely change it if you and DH feel strongly about it. If people 'talk' it will only be as an interesting topic of conversation (that will pass very quickly) not because they would think its a bad thing to do. Kind of like when you hear that someone is pregnant with twins or a really close age gap...its something to chat about 'oh wow they are having twins...how full on" but nothing negative or to be judged!

When my brother was born, he was called Darren John. My mother always want him to be called Darren Greville. Greville being our Father's middle name and a family name. Dad was adament that his son was not going to have "Greville" for his middle name, because he was teased about it as a child! Dad realised he was being silly and that he really should have used the family name. Darren's middle name was legally changed to Greville when he was 12 years old. Darren didn't care! And it was one of the few times that Dad will admit that he should have listened to mum!!

Change it now, will make a good story, people won't care!

BTW our DS2 is called Toby Greville and my Dad was wrapt!

Wow that is really bizarre! What state are you in? It's really interesting because where I come from (International schools all around the world) the school ALWAYS asks for the child's 'preferred name' and that is what the teacher calls them. This covers nicknames, middle-names and anglicised names (eg Jihoon who now wants to be called John). I assumed that this was the politically correct way and was to ensure that all children were dealt with respectfully. So I'm really surprised to hear otherwise.

Interesting :-)

As a teacher in NSW, I have found that reports must be written in accordance with the official roll. For example,

"Alexander is a pleasant and cooperative student...", not Alex.

Having said that, if a student asks to be called a particular name in class. Than I merely add that name to my roll in brackets.

Really, it's not a big deal. Well, it hasn't been to date.

Everyone in my family is called by their middle name. It does cause a few problems. My brother is actually called by his second middle name, so his name often doesn't even appear on official paperwork.

I think my sister has decided to officially change her name. I think she will swap her names around when she registers her marriage.

Personally, I see it as an annoyance. Change the names around. Stuff what people think. Who the frig cares. Do you think, OP, that by not changing the names you are going to stop people from talking abotu this issue or about you or your family? People like a chat. People like to have an opinion and for the most part what dribbles from their brain in the form of constant bloody noise is not meant with any real passion.

I changed my daughter's name a week after she was born (though I hadn't filled in the forms so not legally) and while I was concerned about looking like a loon I don't regret it. My situation involved using a completely different name!

Since you're just swapping the names around and you're already calling him David anyway I don't think it is a big deal to do it legally. I don't know anyone who goes by their middle name & if it annoys your husband having to correct people all the time I think you should change it.

Also great taste by the way- I have a 3 month old David and I LOVE the name!

I would change it obviously he is a David not a Matthew to you, I would change it legally though - alot of people must that's why they give you the 60 days to change it, don't feel bad it's yours and your husbands decision.

Don't be embarrassed, just change it.

Thanks for all the advice and re-assurance!

We swapped it over on Friday (not legally yet), but we have told the family and are all 'officially' calling him David. Once we told our other 2 children and started calling him David it was just a tremendous relief. Dh and I have both been thinking about doing this for weeks and he is definately our David. Although my DD (who is 5) did suggest if we were changing his name we should call him Flame (she is a big fan of the Magic Kitten books).

DH is going to sort out the legal stuff next week. So far the paper trail is pretty small, changing his birth certificate, medicare and centrelink. Then just letting the GP know next time we are in. SO glad to be doing it.

We are also telling close people know and sending an email sometime this week to let everyone else know.

That literally made me laugh out loud. DH even asked what I was laughing at lol.

I'm glad you've done it and you're happy with your decision. I always meand to add David or Paul in as DS' middle name and just never did it. I love those two names and really wanted them as part of his name. I might just add one now. It's like it's meant to be, his name just doesn't seem right as it is now.

Thanks OP, you've given me the courage to do it....I think lol

Congrats. It'll make an interesting story at his 21st.

I was once the referee for a colleague renewing his passport, and through that found out the name he went by was one of his many middle names, not his first name. He totally suited his middle name, not at all his first one.

It's something that i have wanted to do for a while....DH agrees, but can't really be bothered going in to change it

DS1 is Gordon Logan, but has always gone by the name Logan. It's a pain in the bum, and i wish i had never agreed to it!

Good to hear it's such a positive change for you all.


Lol, my sister taught a child last year called Flame.